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Showing stories tagged with #absurdist-humor Clear filter

Weirdwolf
Weirdwolf

Household Challenge

L,l,l,ladies & Gentlemen!!. As you may have noticed I had OBVIOUS heatstroke earlier by thinking evolution happened in the household, personally I blame Spider Venom.

32 45 119 words
smellyfingers
smellyfingers

Opussia's News At Three

Ding, Dong, thong. Thong. Thong!.

42 46 171 words
yowwa
yowwa

The Incredible Adventures Of Captain Alopecia

Adult language used. It was the Big Day. I had prepared for this day for months and now it was time the criminal community met their match.

8 0 428 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Bringing Out The Big Guns|CheeseBattle

#cheesebattle The time has come, The King shall speak, This Climax has come, To its peak, BedHairyLee at my command, Together, we will claim this land, You made my cat, Into a hat, You stole my...

12 17 214 words
albisher
albisher

Untitled

A talking Frog told Lalu, "Lalu, you don't have any brain." Lalu said, "I have one." Frog repeated, "No you don't." Excited Lalu yelled, "Yes, I do." Angry, the frog screamed, "No, you...

6 1 56 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

A Flying Car|CheeseBattle

#cheesebattle Leicester we forget, The D-Mobile of Aston, With chicken seats, And cheesy feet, And seat belts meant to fasten, It has wings- a demon car, A monster of all monsters, That can fly...

18 11 84 words
Delilah
Delilah

Round Five| Cheese Battle

#cheesebattle Come on now, you've just got this. Resorting to dodgy stripper tricks. With our nick-knack back-ups we're still a pain in the ass, Better get your good game on fast.

20 14 114 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Let The Battle Begin|CheeseBattle

#cheesebattle Lurking in the darkness, Breeding cows for cheese, My newest sidekick on a chair, Combing his hair with.... bees.

30 15 120 words
Twilightianalex
Twilightianalex

Ok These Are So Bad It's Funny (found On The Internet)

Doctor, Doctor I’ve lost my memory. When did this happen. When did what happen. Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a rubber band Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch there and tell me all about it.

14 4 111 words
AWriterGirl
AWriterGirl

You Must Buy This!

@OpussDailyChallenge Announcer:Hi kids. Ever wish that those pesky bullies would ever stop taking your milk money anymore. Boy: They don't really do that anymore. Announcer: Well look no further.

22 16 219 words
misslittleDHP
misslittleDHP

The Daily Opusszette

OPUSSIA HIT BY MADNESS AND CRAZINESS On Tuesday night at 11.42pm...something has happened to our great Opussia, there are weird goings on everywhere.

42 25 226 words
rainbowdash69
rainbowdash69

Turtles With Pancakes Part 2

One day the turtles and all the others went to Canada for vacation. Carlie all of the sudden disappeared. They saw a tall man in a black suit walk away.

2 1 234 words
BlueIcecream
BlueIcecream

Daily Opusszette News Paper

Hello, and welcome to the Opusszette. In this special edition, we will be answering the question that is on everyones mind: what IS Opuss.

16 7 359 words
Timmsyy
Timmsyy

Hey Diddle Diddle

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, The cow jumped over the moon. The little dog laughed to see such fun And the dish ran away with the spoon.

34 7 129 words
Nom
Nom

Going For Gold

Olympics round the corner And I'm a finalist 100 metre sprint A race not to be missed. Watch me as I limber up On the starting line Tucked into a skintight suit Looking mighty fine.

26 24 143 words
curiouscraig
curiouscraig

Toupee in a Teepee

"Your toupee Is in my teepee. Please get it out of there." "Why has your teepee Got my toupee.

22 9 222 words
OdinsFist
OdinsFist

The Anonymoose

The Anonymoose is the strangest of beasts. Of which even the chameleon it defeats. It has antlers like trees. But the frailest knees. It's hooves are like steel. It rarely needs a meal.

34 2 152 words
melody
melody

This Evening

#smellody Dear Mr.Smelly, Your face is kinda swelly, Your voice sounds like Mr.Bean on your telly. So instead of wanting piss like you did in this Round number too ain't no diss so take the risk.

18 2 132 words
Zorua101
Zorua101

Melvin Vs. Door

Something random I found on YouTube while looking for Minecraft videos, would you believe. It's from the Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged series episodes 52 and 53 (from what I've seen). Melvin: Bored now.

6 8 253 words
PoppyA
PoppyA

Jammy Dodger Cat Challenge

I walk in to the vets, & he says unto me "Hello Miss Allard, What may your problem be?" I shift and look uncomfortable, It really isn't right, I'm clutching three pet carriers ever so tight.

28 35 212 words
gazplend
gazplend

Crazi Call Of Duty

The train pulled into a war torn station,it was called simply 'ghost',there were giant guns everywhere you looked,and they were loaded with the most evil ammo known to man!,Sienna's sweaty gym socks.

16 12 151 words
Delilah
Delilah

Golf In Wonderland

'Whole in one!' shouts Sienna As the hedgehog rolls about.

24 22 178 words
wolfie
wolfie

The Dalek Diaries: 8

Dalek Tiff Dalek 1: YOU ARE SO FULL OF EXCREMENT THAT YOU HAVE A HANDLE FOR FLUSHING LIKE THE HUMAN CUBICLES KNOWN AS 'PORTALOO' Dalek 2: WELL YOUR MOTHER IS SO TRASHY THAT SHE HAS A PEDAL AT THE...

26 4 70 words
Delilah
Delilah

Cuckoo Train (Post 200)

Inspired by the wonderful posts by @smellyfingers , @naaviie and @sjw. I'm catching the cuckoo train Not choo-choo train Cuckoo train. I'm catching the cuckoo train It's high time I was off.

18 18 217 words
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