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Q. Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70. A. Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69..
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Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love. Because they have cotton balls..
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14 words
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Once upon a time, there was a cat who died. When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth.
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212 words
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A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: "You can't drive around with penguins in this town.
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102 words
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A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. Father was explaining how ferocious and song tigers are, and junior was taking it all in with a serious expression.
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70 words
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Q: Why did the turkey cross the road. A: To prove he wasn't chicken..
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Two Cats
Brown cat: I had a dream last night ... White cat: and ?.. Was it ugly?. Brown cat: WHAT???!!. White cat: u know what I mean!. Was fat??. Brown cat: wht the heck!!?. No I don't know what u mean!.
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60 words
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An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. Some monkeys are climbing up, some down. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.
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Earwigs
What did the earwig say when he fell of the cliff . Earwigo.
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Donkey
I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday. He said, "Have you ever shoed a horse?" I said, "No, but I've told a donkey to fuck off.".
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Susan Boyle
back off. "ted".
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Why do pandas like old movies . ... Because it's black n white :}.
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What kind of leash should you buy for a Chihuahua. A short one!.
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What does an aardvark take for ant-digestion. Anta-Seltzer!.
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Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle. A. Wheeeee!!!!!.
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Why did the 3-legged dog go back to Dodge City. To see who shot his "paw.".
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Who is the bees favourite pop group. The bee gees!.
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What is the best advice to give a worm. Sleep late..
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Magpie
A magpie saw a pitch fork in the middle of a field, glistening. He flew towards it, got speared and shouted. Damn it. Just like uncle Ferguson did!.
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Sasha was walking and she farted.
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What dog rides a horse named Macaroni. Yankee poodle!.
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What would you get if you crossed a cow with a rabbit. Hare in your milk!.
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What grey, has a wand, huge wings and gives money to elephants. The tusk fairy!.
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Is it true the pigs went over Niagara Falls in a barrel. No, that story's just a lot of hogwash..
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20 words