3 Limericks
(Just to keep my hand in, so to speak, I have made up 3 silly Limericks which might appeal to the 'young' ones.
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The Lost iPod Saga.
Lost my iPod. Panicked. Searched, sat down and cried. In that sort of beat-up mood That clearly says 'I tried.' Got up again And searched and more Didn't find A thing.
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While The Cat's Away...
Warning: Swear words within. Hey ho...
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I Had A Hunch It Was Him...
Billy: "Hey, what's this I hear about them finding the bones of an old English king under some car-park?" Jimmy: "Yeah, that's right.
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Tea With A Tiger
Taking tea with a tiger Watch for the claws. They chip the teapot When he pours Just one more crack And the thing will break.
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Rriiiipppp
Hey, what's that smell. (sniff sniff) what, no, I didn't fart. It's not like I would lie. It's just I didn't have any part. When there's a smell, a rule follows. To lay blame to your friends.
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Catch A Rabbit
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test.
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World Class Fail
So someone challenged me to a bet. Told me it took more than 6 days to travel the world and back. I disagreed. So I became a class explorer. .. Working of course. So I planned my route out perfectly.
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How a little girl ruined my life ch.9
"To see the world from your eyes Part I : Dear diary Dear diary, Today was the best day ever. The morning started off as it usually did.
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Assets
Chapter One "You are sitting aboard the Hindenburg k720, the fastest, largest freight carrier and warship in the Western quad.
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Chocolate Fix?
#fillintheblank There once was a man named Jack. Jack really loved to eat chocolate. however, Jack had a nasty run in with an m&m. This experience forever changed Jack's life.
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Jack
#fillintheblank challenge There once was man named Jack. Jack really loved to drink milk. One not so average day, however, Jack had a nasty run in with a hooker.
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The Misadventures Of Jack
#fillintheblank challenge There once was man named Jack. Jack really loved to ____. One not so average day, however, Jack had a nasty run in with a/an ____.
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What Keys?
Your late for work Can't leave without me. Your screaming and shouting, 'Where's the bloody keys!' Am I under the sofa. Under your bed. Was I on the table. Or the fireplace instead.
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Cats Eat Paper
Mr. P: Becky, where's your homework. Becky: I did it. Mr. P: Well where is it. Becky: My cat ate it. Mr. P: uh-huh. *writes 0 in grade book* Becky: MR. PALAZZO I DID MY HOMEWORK. MY CAT EATS...
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Balloon Buffoon
Of all my great ideas, this one is clearly the best An adventure of pure endurance, I'm putting my body to the test I've brought ten thousand balloons and I've got myself a spud gun I'm going to fly...
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Why My Family Is A Real- Live Sitcom: Part 3
**me in bed; not asleep yet** **sister in bed; not asleep yet** **cat asleep in chair** **Mom enters** Mom: Good night. (Kisses cat. Ignores humans in room. Walks out.) Me: .....
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Untitled
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.
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The Greedy Little Squirrel
Once upon a time there lived a greedy little squirrel who wanted all the nuts in the forest for himself.
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Babysitting
Boy(6): You guys could be ornaments. I could put a hook on your head and hang you from the tree. Me: ......
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700th Opuss? No way!
700 Opusses. No way. Thank you so much for listening to me. You have all made me so happy. I wonder what I shall do. Maybe another interview. Me: Hello everybody.
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Dumb Names For Cars #3
Honda Acty Crawler - Does it have wheels or 6 legs. Mitsubishi Mirage - The car that you only think you are driving. Volkswagen Golf - Is it as boring to drive as the game is to watch.
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A new story?!
Hey guys I've had this idea for a new story for a few months now. This story is called "The hit man's partner," which was inspired by a dream I had about well, the partner of a hit man.
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Why My Family Is A Real-Life Sitcom: Part 2
*at dinner table* Sister(12): I wish I had better grades. Dad(sputtering): Grades. Spades- mades- shades- zades!. *THIS REALLY HAPPENED*.
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