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A convo between father and son... DAD: "Ok, so after every question i ask you you must say ketchup and rubber buns". Son: Gotcha. DAD: what did you buy at the store. Son: Ketchup and rubber buns.
I don't want to say you're fat, I don't want to risk it, I'll just tell you, By saying put down the biscuit, I don't want to say you're bald, That just would not be fair, I'll just say that you're a...
Today I went upstairs to give my flowers a drink. In the kitchen from the sink. But when I turn it on. It comes out wrong. It sprays in my face. Not in my vase. I wanted to cry.
Tuesday, 15 February 2011A Rant from insomniac islandErm Hello Mrs Smiff and Mr Radford i write to you with bleary eyes, Welcome fizzer also my trusted oldest bff, and follower number 3!.
Thursday, 3 February 2011Where will it all end?.
The footballs on This isn't fun What the hell?. Boys can't you tell?.
Mothers are a brilliant source of encouragement aren't they. Can you tell in this instance I'm being sarcastic.
My teacher calls me sweetie cakes. My classmates think it's funny to hear her call me angel face or pookie bear or honey. She calls me precious baby doll.
A woman visited her daughter and was shocked to find her lying naked on the sofa,the daughter explained that she was wearing her love dress and whenever she 'wears' it her boyfriend instantly becomes...
Boy: I'm hungry. Dad: Well, hello Hungry. Boy: No dad. I am actually hungry. I'm starving in fact. Dad: Oh, you changed your name. Hi Starving. Boy: DAD. I am actually hungry as in I want food.
A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed.
From the mouths of children....always the truth . I think so :) Little Johnny and his grandmother were shopping in a department store.
Friend 1: When I was little, my dad wanted to call my sister pearl. Me: Really. Friend 2: haaa. 'It seems you've come out of you shell, pearl.
There was a virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it. Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys.
While having a few hours too kill this afternoon, and playing the £0.02 arcade game with the baby, trying my hardest to make my £1 worth of 2ps last. When I noticed a gold bullion bar in the £0.10p.
This boy has just taken his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give...
A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner. DAD: Son, where were you today during school hours.
A woman has three daughters, and the first one come up to her and says. "Mummy, why am I called Lily?". She replies "Because when you were born, a Lily landed on your head.".
Did I ever tell you about the time me and the family went out to dinner. Ah well, there's a joke in that see.
Sunday morning, the sun is shining in the kitchen, Lucy the cat is purring beside me. All is quiet, THEY are still asleep.
Once apon a time Me and my little bro used to go the same school and naturally catch the same bus.
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall.
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
Little Johnny comes home from school one day and asks his mother what "shit" meant. Thinking fast she replied "food on the table".