Sold To Me
It turns out pretty pricy buying ice cream A 99 used to be 99p or maybe it was in my dreams.
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London Rant (2)
So I have landed here in Knightsbridge. A place for the rich Arabs, Russians and other business tits. Luxury kept ladies doing a late lunch to my right.
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Joke #28
If blondes and bimbos were the same thing, the prefix 'bim' could be used to create new words that describe them: Bimbabble - noises coming from a group of blondes Bimbaffled - constant mental state...
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Avenue Q
Thought I'd tell you guys about this hilarious musical Avenue Q.
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Being a Gangsta Rapper Is Hard
This message, in part, is sponsored by Bitches & Hoes Anonymous.
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Things I Can Not Get My Head Around Blog II
PETS We are very selective when choosing pets. The standard of course is a Dog. Other options are cats, parrots, hamsters, mice/mouses and fish.
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BMW Sonnet
~A sonnet I wrote in December 2011; for school~ BMW's have ugly grille plates; I want to smash them all with a crow-bar; People who drive them are the ones I hate, BMW are horrible cars, Though...
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Cult, I Mean Religion Starter Pack
Step 1 - Create a God. This is surprisingly difficult. The really good ideas have already been taken. Man with a big hammer, taken. Man who can throw lightening bolts, taken.
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Opuss Initiation
With immediate affect, all new Oppussians will be welcomed to our fair isle as follows. On signup.
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Aliens
I would like to discuss with you, readers, the question of whether aliens exist or not. Please join the debate in the comments section. My opinion is: of course aliens exist.
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My 100th Opuss Post That Isn't.
I know it is customary tat when you reach your 100th Opuss. A user has to thank everyone for their support and blah blah, blah but I'd thought I would do something different.
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Genius
I just came up with a form of transport that is going to revolutionise how we get from point A to point B. This staggeringly simple concept is totally green. It is good for on and off road.
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Cookie
His name was Cookie Hawkins. Opussia's porno star. He'd done everything. But he didn't go THAT far. He wore outrageous outfits. When he was on the job. Luminous green marigolds.
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Olympics
So far it's been a treat. Never thought I'd say that but I've really enjoyed it. Some observations- The New Zealand v Netherlands women's hockey match, great game with an added plus side.
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Proud To Be English
I'm proud to be An Englishman It's great being A Brit I love my Native country And it's swell To live in it I don't want To be a Frenchman Italian, Dutch or Swiss I'm a blue blooded Englishman And...
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Stereotypes
Not all Asians are bad drivers and not all Polish people are dumb. Not all Germans are big and scary and not all French people are arrogant.
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Double Glazed Love
Life and love are so amazing. But So is my new double glazing. Marriage and sex can be so fantastic. But so are my new doors in lovely white plastic. I love to see pretty girls in summery frocks.
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20:12
It's not the security fiasco Of which rumours are rife, It's not the billions spent To bring this event to life, It's not the Greek competitor Chucked out for racist remarks, It's not the doubt that...
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Warning 16 Plus
THE CREATION OF A VAGINA Seven wise men with knowledge so fine Created a pussy to their design. First was a butcher, smart with wit, Using a knife, he gave it a slit.
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Untitled
There is a new virus going around, called "work." If you receive any sort of "work" at all, whether via email, internet or simply handed to you by a colleague...DO NOT OPEN IT.
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The Best Selling Ornament In London
#household Covent Garden market just the other day Two for twenty quid is the price to pay A little bit extortionate, I have to say It's the best selling ornament in London What it really is no-one...
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America the beautiful
America. Where pizza comes faster than an ambulance. America. Where the roads are littered with dead animals, trash, and homeless people. America. Where the kids do drugs and drink 'till they drop.
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Rank 1
For those who want to be number 1. This is a guide, it's just for fun. It doesn't matter if your writings the best. With no followers it won't pass the test. You can tag everyone in your posts.
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Cardboard Box
I was once a happy man Laughing with my peers But now, thanks to salesman I cant do anything, cheers.
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