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Showing stories tagged with #social-awkwardness Clear filter
True friends are good and hard to find That's what I was told by a chum of mine, We'd go to places near and far, In search of buddies, to have a good laugh.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
I For those who are unaware, in Scotland "random" means weird. It probably spreads further than Scotland, but the Scottish don't care about that.
Invited to a party, The note said fancy dress. Hats will be provided, To limit your distress.
Whilst paying for my train ticket at the station, I pulled my wallet out and my pocket had given it one of those dangly bits of black thread that does a big spider impression.
If you get caught masturbating say something friendly to avoid awkwardness, like; "Hey. I was just thinking of you!!" Buy a parrot. Teach the parrot to say, "Help.
A girl just took the empty seat next to me on the train and had started doing... needlepoint!. This doesn't help my previous mania of being on a time travelling train.
I woke up to the sound of cats fighting, my head thumping from the excess of beer I had the previous night.
Tommy trunnion loved to talk. Once he started talking to you, it was impossible to escape.
Someone on the train just got a call on their mobile...
My friends and family often tell me this, at first I did not believe them, as you do, but after some time I began to see their point and found it quite hilarious.
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: I've got new socks on. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: Oh, not now, damn motion sickness.
This actually did happen to a real person, and the real person was me. I had gone to catch a train. This was April 1976, in Cambridge, U.K. I was a bit early for the train.
Very first time I am being introduced to them, my then gf (now wife)’s mum asks my gf ‘would [name] like drink’, my gf says ‘he can speak for himself mum he isnt deaf and dumb’ - at which point I put...
"I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.