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A lady takes her lover to her house during the day, while her husband is at work and Unknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet to skip school.
A 75 Year Old Lady rings her local NHS hospital and this conversation follows: 'Hello I'd like some information on a patient, Mrs Tiptree.
Theres something in the woods This feeling isn't good I'm walking all alone I hear a crunch and a groan Im looking around in fear I see nothing but then I hear Another crunch on a twig Omg it must be...
@misslittleDHP Improv challenge. Years have passed since we sat under the apple tree your fingers locked in mine. On christmas eve you were gone with the wind, you never said goodbye.
So the other day I was about to get off with some girl I had pulled, and I asked her if she had any condoms. "There's some in the drawer over there," she said.
So, up marches Prudence the Penguin. With his luggage tucked under his wings.. "What do you keep in your suitcase.
Suddenly Im wide awake Room is completley dark I cant hear à sound except My Heart baning hard inside My chest Was it à nightmare Someone Trying to get in.
' ' / \ /___\ ___|_____ ~~~~/\~~~~~\______/~~ |\__/ \____ | __\/__/// •_\ |/ Can you see that...
"Hiyas," I wondered opening the door to Brian's apartment to find no ones there, accept his old tabby cat, Fred "heya Freddie," I said scratching behind is ear to hear him 'purr', " d'ya know where...
My Very First Time. The sky was dark. The moon was high. All alone just she and I. Her hair was soft. Her eyes were blue. I knew just what. She wanted to do. Her skin so soft. Her legs so fine.
My heart is beating so fast. My breathing is quick and hard. Can't take much more,I can't last. Man this thing is so intense. If I finish now she'll feel let down. Only been going for 30 seconds.
Joe, a successful man by most standards, began to be bothered by some incredible headaches. When both his professional life and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.
This nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down waiting for her flight. When she looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune.
It's Saturday morning and John's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon.
"Lips red as red, Cheeks white as white, An unreal beauty, An aunt with much spite": The truth of Snow White, It wasn't as told, That fairy tale, Is a story told; The truth is this: The girl was...
Streams of white fly past my belly - Come on lass, give it some welly. Hot creamy liquid only buckets can measure Fingers are squeezing... Bring my morning pleasure This animal process...
David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an obscenity.
A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search.
A Mexican, an Arab, and a hot gorgeous blonde Somerset girl are in the same bar...
"David recieved a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and a worse vocabulary. Every other word was a swear word.
A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding.
Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
An Irish farmer named Seamus had an accident with a lorry, and was suing the lorry company. In court their hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus.
It was dark. I was in a cave, scary red eyes looked at me. I didn't dare take a step forward into the pitch black cave, but suddenly something pushed me and then I couldn't see a thing. What was it.