BGT Trouble
Does anyone remember that rapper on Britian's Got Talent. 'Lost my keys, Lost my phone' guy.
8
2
178 words
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The Lament Of The Pug
Oh Lord, it's me, the pug The one with the squished-up mug. You're having a laugh. Come on don't be daft. You must be feeling quite smug.
20
7
122 words
Careers Advice
Sung to the tune of "what shall we do with a drunken sailer" On a snowy winter's day My careers adviser called to say "have you thought how you will make your way, in the real world.
14
2
225 words
Jokes
Q.Where do you find a one-legged dog. A.Where you left it. Q.What's pink and fluffy. A.Pink fluff Q.What's blue and fluffy. A. Pink fluff holding it's breath. Q.What do you call a deer with 1 eye.
20
8
74 words
Opposite Day
What is the point. You can never tell if it is opposite day or not since if you try to say it's opposite day you would have to say 'It's not opposite day'.
12
3
85 words
Untitled
Mr Meerkat was off to work,. When he saw his old friend Ms Stork,. He saw her purse fall from her pocket,. So he picked it up, it was pink and spotted,. He caught up with her and said, "Hello!".
12
0
90 words
Nun at the airport
This nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down waiting for her flight. When she looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune.
6
0
460 words
Trampoline Trots
Have you had the Trampoline Trots. Of this predicament I know lots Your bouncing around all happily Then out it shoots...
8
4
150 words
Joke
A woman visited her daughter and was shocked to find her lying naked on the sofa,the daughter explained that she was wearing her love dress and whenever she 'wears' it her boyfriend instantly becomes...
8
2
71 words
Breville Noun
Breville noun always acted the clown. Never serious never saw him frown. Full of jokes and anecdotes. About people,places and 1 bout a goat. Around him you were sure to laugh.
10
5
87 words
Little Critters
"Your doing it wrong rabbit" said mouse. "It's meant to just fit in the hole." "It's called a key hole, mouse" whispered weasel.
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212 words
Jesus Is Watching You !
A burglar broke into a house one night.
14
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200 words
Slugs
I feel for you. I really do. All alone. With no home. You mooch about. All day long. Without a care in the world. Like nothing's wrong. You're in my garden. Eating leaves like bugs. I'll kill you.
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41 words
Trolling (or The Bully Goats Gruff)
( took a while to join in but... Here tis!) Why don't you burn 'The Billy Goats Gruff '- That tatty yarn's A load of guff.
46
17
582 words
At The Vets
Three people, 2 men and 1 woman, and their dogs are in the Vets waiting room. The first man's dog asked the second man's dog what he's there for. They are putting me down.
18
1
224 words
What's Wrong With it?
Crinkled and worn out, another garment of clothing graces the floor with a large thump. Oops. Must have left my phone in the pocket. I fish it out and start tap, tap, tapping away in reply to a...
2
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315 words
Texts From My Dog 60
DOG: did you call me. I'm busy Just got a text from the neighbour. STOP TWATTING AROUND DOG: I'm NOT. SHES LYING Shall I forward you her text.
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4
54 words
How Old Am I?
A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends4,000 grand and feels really good about the result.
22
6
224 words
Let's See The Banana King Charlie!!!
Charlie you look quite down. With your big sad eyes. And your big fat frown. The world doesn't have to be so gray. Charlie when your life's a mess. When your feeling blue. Always in distress.
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171 words
Porch
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.
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178 words
Coco
Sitting in his dressing room, Coco shed a tear For even with no make-up, no woman would come near See, Coco was the best of 'em, he stood proud and tall But when it came to loving, he'd had no luck...
36
23
385 words
Vampires...Not What You Think.
I know this is old, but for some strange reason I've always loved it......weird right.
22
2
157 words
Hot!
Hot, hot I'm so hot, I've forgot My name, It begins with an A No wait, a K Maybe a c Or a h But I'm still so hot Hot, hot, so hot That I've still forgot my name, It's something simple, like...
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143 words
David & His New Parrot.
David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an obscenity.
18
4
200 words