Give A Man A Fish
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Internet and he won't bother you for weeks..
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Untitled
The only job you start at the top is digging a hole.
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If At First
If at first you don't succeed... Then parachute jumping is probably not for you!.
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Didn't You Know?!?
Has anyone noticed how the word 'studying' has 'dying' at the end?.
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Untitled
Life is something that everyone should try at least once. -Henry J. Tillman.
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Untitled
Its funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hilarious..
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The Sharpest Knife
The sharpest knife is a blunt one. How do I know. Because I was cutting a swede, the blunt knife slipped and it took the top of my thumb off!.
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Bro Code #5
Whether he cares about sports or not, a bro cares about sports..
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Quote
C is for cookie and cookie is for me. - Cookie Monster.
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Fawlty Towers
"There's a hair in my mousse." Gets me every time!.
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Wings
I sometimes watch birds and wonder “If I could fly who would I shit on?”.
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Rear Entry Killer
Assassins do it from behind..
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Untitled
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt..
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Untitled
Nobody notices what I do, until I don't do it..
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Pizza Vs. Police
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police..
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Family guy
If you've got a problem, tell it to my a$$, cos he's the only one who gives a cr@p. Peter Griffin.
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How Its Really Works...
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness..
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Untitled
When life gives you lemons, paint them pink and make pink lemonade. ;) @Iliveforyou.
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Homer
[drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him..
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Super Girl
Girls are superheroes. Because who else could bleed for 5 days and not die. o(^▽^)o.
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Astronomy
I lay in bed staring up at the stars thinking... Where the hell is the ceiling..
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Citrus Melon
Anyone who says citrus fruit are the only fruits that makes your face scrunch up. They haven't fell heat first onto a water melon. ((( DO NO'T TRAY AT HOME )))..
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Facebook's Greatest Hits...
Hello everyone. It may seem that everyone (especially the youth) is on that book of faces on the Internet, Facebook.
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280 words
Albert Einstein
If you run around a tree at 87 km per hour , naked, there is a possibility that you may just fuck yourself. -Albert Einstein.
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