Goblin God
Warning swear words and religious insults. All in good humour and fun. If this may offend you, don't read. Simples.
34
12
228 words
Explore Unputdownable Stories
Thousands of free stories. Support your favorites when you're ready.
Showing stories tagged with #humor Clear filter
Natural Selection(?)
~ I didn't write this, funny though A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo and when the herd is hunted it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
18
7
136 words
If I Ruled The World
If I ruled the world, socks would be sold in threes. Because then that way, Nobody would have cold knees. If I ruled the world, Police would have space hoppers.
18
3
101 words
I Used To Think Diets Were For Wimps
I used to think diets were for wimps Until I saw some pics of myself My god what was I thinking When I wore that dress.
2
0
188 words
David may become my new favourite !!
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little David stood up.
38
0
292 words
Opuss Crack Down.
Right, look here, Opuss, Here's the thing, I have three more exams, That I can't just wing. Two tomorrow, One on Tuesday, Yet no revising, On here I stay. Yeah, that's it Opuss, I'm addicted.
50
13
100 words
Boot
We like a boot sale, the missus and I. To pass a Sunday morning by. Get a CD you may have missed. A favourite film, hard to resist. Maybe a pair of jeans for work.
50
28
122 words
Untitled
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
2
0
66 words
How To Date A Girl
Always be yourself, we can smell a fake. Don't show off. we don't need to know how much you make. Always de bogey your nose. Boogers are a definite no no.
22
10
158 words
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the other side.
12
0
74 words
Funny Text Conversations
------------------------------ -------- Gf: 370HSSV Bf: huh. Gf: turn it upside down Bf:... ------- Me: Hey Friend: Hey Me: How are you doing. Friend: How are you doing. Me: Reply me first.
6
2
105 words
Fallen
There's an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.
16
1
170 words
Cocktails
Oh cocktails How I love you so Fizz pop Pleasuring my taste buds Fruity goodness Sweet and delightful Could drink you all night Oh cocktails How I love you so Pineapple plantation Your rum...
16
2
142 words
The Cats That Stare
Beware, beware, The cats that stare- For they may catch you unaware. Feed them fast and feed them right: Or they may wee on you in the night.
264
84
60 words
Olympic Gold
In the 2012 Olympics Northern Ireland should win gold For tourist confuddlement. We're a riddle, so I'm told.
14
6
250 words
Up There Dumbo No.1
Me textin my cat in heaven... Me: Wuu2. Cat: What does that mean. Me: What you up to. Cat: Can't you answer my other question first. Me: ....... Cat: ...... Me: Just answer the second question.
14
3
112 words
Texting At Night
Person 1: Hey Are you awake. Person 2: Why do people always ask that question.
26
3
79 words
Recycled
Once upon a time, in a garden, long ago, there lived a happy goblin, his name was Wash & Go.
72
37
216 words
Lucky Linda
A guy goes down for breakfast and it is quite obvious that his wife has the hump with him. He asks what is the matter.
10
0
112 words
Fashion Faux Pas
The 50s brought us Bermuda shorts, ballet flats and pedal pushers. The 60's were no better, bell bottoms, go-go boots and beehives. The 70's were all denim, denim, denim.
8
5
114 words
Funny Parrot
One day there were three women they walked into a pet shop and a parrot shouted from the corner “pink, grey, red!” “Thats funny” says the first women, “I ve got red knickers on!” then the second...
10
7
110 words
Random Facts Of The Day
1) It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament. 2) Feeding canaries red peppers turns them orange. 3) The biggest thing a blue whale can swallow is a grapefruit.
24
5
50 words
Mr Flea
You should listen to the flea, It's only polite, you see, About all the places he's been, Oh, the wondrous things he's seen. Oh the bottoms that have been bitten. Mr Flea's never been so smitten.
20
5
59 words
Oh No, I Cannot Sleep!
Oh no, I cannot sleep I can feel his cold clammy feet My mind it just won't stop It does think, think, think, think Oh no, I cannot sleep Through the window light seeps My cat breathes in my face It...
22
11
95 words