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In our house we have this book of Buddhist proverbs, with a new one for each day. Today's proverb was "Don't judge a horse by its saddle," and I found myself wondering what the fuck that meant.
My big 4 0 is approaching and even when you say 4 0...the 0 says it all 'oh'....
When I was beaten severely as a childish understood that my dad only did it to make me a better person today, which I'd like to believe I am.
Ok here we go, I really HATE the following:- 1. Poverty 2. Pompousness 3. One-Upmanship 4. Any "Class" System 5. Preaching (any kind) 6. Bullying 7. Chicken Drumsticks 8. Broccoli 9.
Stripe socks. You rock. You make my toes warm. Although the heel is torn. I love you. Even though you use to be blue. Now your brown. Because of the ground. You have been there for me.
A man is in bed with his wife when there is bang on the door. He turns over and looks at his alarm clock, and it's four in the morning.
MORE useless facts: 1). The average biro can write 2 miles. 2). Backpfeifengesicht is german for 'a face that makes you want to hit it'. 3). 5% of koalas have bad backs 4).
Cat 1: so dude how's it goin. Cat2: ohhh cat 1 have you been on the cat-nip again. Cat1: what would you say if I said yes. Cat2: I would ban cat-nip from your life. FOREVER.
On mothers day last year I was at a football match with my friends talking about what we got our mums. Me: so what did you get your mum. Friend: oh not much, just a bookmark and some flowers.
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot.
I feel a bit sorry for Wednesdays. It arrives in a storm of apathy and no one really notices it tippy-toeing away. Mondays .... universally hated without question Tuesdays ....
Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter comes and takes their drink order. "I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy. "I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.
How to's: How to tell if a video is worth watching: Is it targeted at specifically boys or specifically girls. No. It's worth watching.
This simple five question test will help determine how drunk you really are. Begin by answering each of the five questions below truthfully.
Is it weird to say I like poignancy.
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall.
A spaceman came travelling In a spaceship small and neat He flicked a switch altered his pitch And landed in my street I stood and watched and wondered What it was doing here Then it's door crashed...
THE WEDDING OF MR HUGHES There's going to be a celebration, in our old home town today, For Mr Hughes and his wee girl are getting married there they say, All the folks will come along, to see them...
It shouldn't be. He awoke And with that thought Went back to sleep again The dog however decided it was.
Good Morning.
I bet you never thought there would be an opus called happy ranting, ay.
I love it said the postman. When I get to a gate. I look around and hear no sound. No doggies lay in wait. Just a minute hold your horses. Wait up, alas, alack. You played too cool you silly fool.
Isn't there a better way to travel to the stars. Wouldn't it be fun to strap a rocket to our cars. Take off from your local airport. Must get clearance first. Then off we go up and away.
You continue to age Say you go a couple years into the future and you end up staying there for three years, when you come back you'll be three years older thus missing three years of your life.