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Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'.
His name was Jonah Johnson. And plumbing was his skill. His house caught fire one awful night. And his family were killed. He thought he'd like to join them. And considered it awhile.
It was Grandpa Jones' 100th birthday and he was still in perfect health. At his birthday party he was asked how he managed to live so long and stay so fit.
Teacher: Does everybody know the alphabet. Little Johnny: No. Teacher: Alright little Johnny you need to know the alphabet by tomorrow. Little Johnny: Okay. At Home Little Johnny: Mom.
On a special teacher's day, a play school teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift.
I didn't have a lot of knowledge about the original serious before watching this. All I knew was the two main characters were cops. So I was completely unbiased watching this.
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual.
A woman realizes her son has not yet gotten out of bed for school. She goes into his bedroom and tells him to get up or he will miss breakfast. "No," the son replies. "I don't wanna go to school.
10. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again. 9. I'm not drunk I'm just intoxicated by you. 8. If beauty were time, you'd be eternity. 7.
1. Doctor. 2. Dentist 3. Coal man. 4. Decorator. 5. Bank manager. A Doctor says to take off your clothes. A Dentist says open wide. A Coal man asks "where do you want it, front or back.
Once upon a time there was an end..
A boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers.
Books I would like to read: 312 Ways To Die by Sue I Cide A Great Plenty by E Nuff A Stitch In Time by Justin Case A Trip To The Dentist by Howard Hurts A Whole Lot of Cats by Kitt N...
80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention ". The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid.
American Pie: The Reunion sees the return of the few main characters from the original American Pie films. Excluding "Beta house", "naked mile" and "the book of love".
Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass. He says, "How'd you get a cork in your ass.
Yo mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard. Yo mama is so fat she uses her underwear for bungee jumping. Yo mama head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow.
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
DOG: who are those people in our house. Guests DOG: why. Just having a wee party DOG: are you going to introduce me. No. DOG: not to ALL of them, just the girl in the blue jeans. No.
Faina Ranevskaya walks about her make-up room totally naked and smokes. A theatre directors walks in without knocking and freezes at the door.
Just to be clear the twist was a famous dance in the 50's It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car.
A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head. "I need to take that walkman off your head," says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde. "You can't. I'll die.
A blonde came home from school one day and said to her mom, 'I can count higher then all the kids in my second grade class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?' Her mother replied, 'Of course...
A blonde came home from her first day commuting into the city. Her mother noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, "Honey, are you feeling all right. "Not really," the blonde replied.