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I feel the need to write. I don't know what about. I've got a lot on my mind. That I haven't figured out. I had a food addiction. I broke it a month ago. Trying to lose weight for two months straight.
Who, how, what, when, where and why. Who the bearded Ghandi in the name of Jesus, Hell am I. I am in such a state of disarray, I cannot seem to know, If I am one way or the other, Who am I.
The dead have only one thought, I wish I was alive, For creative thought, this is what I strive. It all ended for me the day I took my life, Poetry set in motion, death to emotion.
Do I have your attention, do you believe me now, My lifeless face frozen in a frown. The voices drove me insane, leading me astray, Every day was a battle fighting through depression's fray.
Wishes of words not to come from you. Promise myself to not look blue. Dig a hole. I'll crawl inside. Bury me deep in layers of pride.
Fat, ugly, beaten, destroyed. These are the feelings they cannot hide. Tears, sobs, whimpers and pain. These are the things on their brain. A wrist, a knife, a cut then blood.
Suffering silently, my own sadness, Caught in my own deranged madness, Oblivious, I don't know how, No body wants to know me now.
One more lonely soul. Another lost. Forgotten. You're in my same boat. Dreams and ambition all rotten. You starve. And cut. And hate yourself. You're stressed. And can't rest.
I'm sorry I couldn't be strong for you. I'm sorry I lie. I'm sorry I don't trust anyone. I'm sorry I get in the way. I'm sorry I irritate you. I'm sorry I'm unhappy.
I carry on, with all on my shoulders. Why I don't know, I haven't a clue. Die I just might, with the weight of the world. Try as I might, I just can't see it through.
A mess A ball of stress I must confess...
Not everyone is gunna say your beautiful. A dick or a bitch will only shit you. But that because your better than them. Imma friend and let me tell you something.
Anger digging up my mind, And screaming to myself, Fury takes up most of my time, And it questioning my health, Stress is buried deep within, On the verge of running away, But it seems I cannot...
Can you feel all the emotions in the air, Love, happiness and care. It fills me with emotions when I see someone smile, It only happens every once in a while.
I crash landed and fell to Earth I was even doomed to fail at birth But something helped me, which was weird at first It kind of follows me around now like a vampire at thirst It's the not knowing or...
As I sit here. And carve in to my flesh. The pain takes me away. From the places I hate. The blood flowing from my cuts. Are rivers bold and untamed. The knife is my vessel. I ride it willing.
They say their all my friends, But their tyranny never ends, They spread their gossip like wild fire, I wonder will they ever tire.
I need to stop .
They're looking my way, What have I done. Am I in trouble.
Surging through my veins, Fuzzing in my ears, I can't hear, Doom raising up, My heartbeats quick, My lashes flick, I can't breathe, Colour drains, I'm in pain, Struggling for breath, My fingers...
Anger, Rage, Shame...Depression all cld some up my past few days. Some moments were so low I contemplated being lifeless.
My words have never been many My thoughts may never be known How am I to read emotion When i know not my own The living can say they understand But little do they do The world cannot...
* Written for a pupil in my form who today confided in me as she wants help to stop* She self harms because its a release She self harms because it eases her pain She is a confused young girl...
Sail. This is how I show my love. I made in my mind because. I blame it on my ADD, baby. This is how an angel dies. I blame it on my own sick pride. Blame it on my ADD, baby. Sail. Sail. Sail. Sail.