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A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions.... Officer: What's 2+2. Blonde: Ummmmm... 4. Officer: What's the square root of 100.
DOG: LAMP IN THE LIVING ROOM FELL OVER. Ok. DOG: FREAKED ME OUT. Take a deep breath. DOG: NOW I HAVE TO FIGHT IT. NO YOU DON'T. DOG: I DO, MATTER OF HONOUR N STUFF.
A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read. " "It has NO plot and far too many characters.
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together.
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.
Airport Security alerted an airline crew to keep an eye a blonde passenger who appeared excessively nervous and shifty-eyed.
A young blonde was onvacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in theworst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
Upside down dog, paws to the sky I will not scratch your tum. You wiggle and you wriggle And you poke me in the eye As you clamber on and over me.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus.
I had a job It was real smelly Then one day I got an offer for the telly I was in two minds But I said yes Because the woman from the telly had a sexy dress A life of grime That was the program T.V...
I do not have an OCD over tidiness. I just wanted to clear that up. I've just bought myself a hyena. Finally my jokes will be appreciated.
Maria just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous.
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe.
She found the perfect little black dress in a tiny shop on the edge of town. It made her small bits look big and her big bits look small; it was the kind of garment a girl could fall for.
A Harrods bag was seen one day. Discarded in the street. Upon first glance it seemed to hold. Some cheeses and some meat. A passer-by had noticed this. And soon he'd spread the word.
A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics.
I am now convinced that London-Midland train guards have installed covert REM deep sleep sensing equipment in the seats.
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy.
These two guys meet after not having seen each other for many, many years.
A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. "I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies "O.K.
On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago, the DJs play a game called "MateMatch". Here are the rules. The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone.