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emorrow
emorrow

Rock, Paper, Scissors

I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there's no way that paper can beat rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around rock leaving it immobile.

2 3 132 words
OllieBoyne
OllieBoyne

The Buffalo Effect

Alcohol is good for your brain. Here's how: There is a herd of Buffalo running away from a pack of vicious tigers that are heading at them.

26 0 113 words
Cinders
Cinders

I.D Please..

I walked into a pub earlier and said, "A pint of Guiness please." The young barman looked at me and said, "Do you have any ID?" "ID?" I laughed, "I could be your dad." "Prove it" he replied.

36 5 49 words
bowlch
bowlch

Drink Driving

I would like to share an experience with you, which has to do with drinking and driving. As you may be aware, some of us have had brushes with the authorities over the years.

4 0 100 words
alienatedyouth
alienatedyouth

Buffalo Theory

I'd like to share a theory that was passed on to me about why university students seemingly can go out and get drunk every night and still go on to pass their exams, coursework and degrees.

4 0 177 words
Eatonlynch
Eatonlynch

Have You Read...?

Enjoy your homework by R.U Joking. Out for the count by I.C stars. Cliff-top rescue by Justin time. Your turn to wash up by Y.Mee. Off to the dentist by U.first.

12 5 60 words
Danish
Danish

Texts From My Dog

You have received a new SMS message. DOG: Fun day. Ran around the house in a cape. I'M BATDOG LOL Where did u get the cape. DOG: I think role playing helps alleviate my boredom.

58 2 61 words
hoofprints
hoofprints

Six Fairly Useless Things You Can Do Now You're Sixteen

Hey guys, so next week is my best friend's 16th birthday, and I wrote her a poem I'd like to share with you all. Enjoy.

6 3 223 words
blindmuggy
blindmuggy

Meowww

At three o clock as I'm wounding down for the night and about to goto bed, then in my room out of nowhere I heard a cat meowing, now considering that one of my biggest childhood fears was watching...

2 5 113 words
willheee
willheee

I Spied A Spider

A spider (let's call him Arac Obama), whilst tidying up a corner of his web after catching his dinner, heard some laughter close by.

6 2 101 words
charlesthepig
charlesthepig

World Of The Thick

I just saw a sign on some obvious steps that said 'steps' and had a diagonal arrow to show you that the steps would facilitate an 'upward and forward' journey. Do we really need this.

20 2 642 words
TheLittlestPiper
TheLittlestPiper

Recipe.

Recipe for a perfect morning; 1. Roll out of bed and fashion a cape from your duvet. 2.

50 5 71 words
Cam
Cam

TRUE Friendship

FRIENDSHIP- NONE OF THAT SISSY CRAP. 1. When ur sad - I will help u plot revenge on the bastard who made u sad. 2. When ur blue - I will try 2 dislodge whatever is choking u. 3.

4 0 115 words
Kilo
Kilo

Seven Kinds Of Sex

The 1st kind of sex is called ... Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet Someone and you both have sex until you are Blue in the face. The 2nd kind of sex is called ... Kitchen Sex.

6 0 231 words
willheee
willheee

Well, I Had No Idea Where I Was Going With This

My dribbled an drawled rhymes and verses, are intended to be a little puny, err punny. A little funny, like the author.

10 5 257 words
waynedoz
waynedoz

Tap Tap Tapping

( with apologies to Mr.

14 4 173 words
Gusto
Gusto

Dreams

Dream Variations “Nightmare or sweet Dreams?” Nightmares - you wake up scared, but with a joyous feeling you didn’t get clamped in the head (or whatever keeps you up at night)… Sweet dreams -...

0 0 186 words
emilymcgivern
emilymcgivern

Practically Perfect in Every Way...

Congratulations. You're not perfect. It's ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway. But then, everybody's ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people. You know what perfect is.

0 0 185 words
nicwatt
nicwatt

Up

There is a two letter word that perhaps has more meaning than any other two letter word – it’s “UP.” It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we waken in...

6 0 323 words
waynedoz
waynedoz

A Tale

Lying, sleepy on the rug, I spy a crawly, creepy bug, Long and twitchy, hairy back, Edging near to have a snack; Before I know it - SNAP. It nips, And bites into my bottom bits.

18 1 80 words
OllieBoyne
OllieBoyne

School

My school must hate me. When my friend ran the 5000m, and finished 40 seconds off of the world record, there was a whole assembly congratulating him and an Olympic committee representative came in.

16 0 54 words
Twilightianalex
Twilightianalex

Dolphins Are Intelligent

“For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had...

2 0 74 words
OllieBoyne
OllieBoyne

Elderly Couple

An elderly man was walking in the park with his wife one day when he spotted a good friend of his. The three walked off and sat down at a nearby bench.

32 17 163 words
Gusto
Gusto

Monday Is Not Your Enemy

Monday..... 1st day of the week....it Can't go wrong, and if it does you have 4 extra days to make it right :) look on the bright side....

0 0 207 words
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