Definitely Not
"I am not a pervert. I'm just being true to my desire." ~unknown perverted man~.
2
2
15 words
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Disney World
When your a kid Disney World is everything, but when your adult.. Well, somethings never change..
14
0
16 words
Untitled
Stop trying to impress other people, they're more screwed up than you think..
2
0
13 words
Irony...
You're about as much use as subtitles in a porno!.
4
0
10 words
Burps
Burps are brilliant they let you taste your food twice.
6
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10 words
Teenager Quotes
That awkward moment when you tell your parents something funny and they take it way to seriously...
10
5
17 words
Toddler Rules
If I see it, it's mine If I touch it, it's mine If I'm playing with it, it's mine Everything else is mine too.
14
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24 words
Shin
shin |SHin| noun • a devise for finding furniture in the dark..
34
3
12 words
Music
"I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
1081
89
66 words
The Vet
"A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him.
22
1
66 words
Bad Day
"I'd had a really bad day, but I was overjoyed when I arrived back at my car. Someone had left a note on my car complementing me. The note read 'Parking Fine'. How nice!".
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1
34 words
Direction
"My girlfriend and I ended up having the mother of all breakups last night, the underlying message being that my "sense of direction was causing huge problems in the relationship".
22
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42 words
Dentist's
"Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they. The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Cooper, get out of the filing cabinet.'...
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4
39 words
Nostalgia
"Nostalgia isn't what it used to be".
14
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7 words
Wordplay
"My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes. I asked her, "What can I do to stop my addiction?" She said, "Whatever means necessary." "No it doesn't," I said.".
10
2
31 words
Moustaches
"And so, after searching far and wide for the biggest and best moustaches, we realised that the most important moustaches were right under our noses".
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25 words
Stupid Romeo
"Juliet where for ought though juliet?" SHES ON THE BALCONY IDIOT!!!.
22
8
11 words
Ice Cream
When love does not find you, ice cream is a good replacement..
4
1
12 words
Bombs
''Always be nice and polite and carry the materials to build a bomb'' ~Being Human.
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15 words
All My Life
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific..
34
3
19 words
Untitled
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where she is. -E. DeGeners.
10
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31 words
Untitled
Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it. - Tallulah Bankhead (1903 - 1968).
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19 words
Common Sense
Finding a needle in a haystack is easer with a magnet..
8
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11 words
Untitled
The earth is round.. and so are my boobs..
0
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9 words