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One day two blondes went to separate pet shops and bought a mouse. When they got home they realised that they're going to have to find a way to tell them apart.
A Rabbi and a Priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but, amazingly, neither of the clerics is hurt.
From the comfort of your bed, to the furriness of your slippers, shuffling along the carpet and gently opening the toilet door. But when you sit on the freezing seat, you shout in your mind "Shit!".
A Parody of the Minecraft Adventures Part 1: Introduced to a Creeper It was daytime in the world of blocks as me and my mentor, Tom, strolled happily through a forest of green hills and rushing...
1.A blonde keeps walking down her drive to her mail box. She keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that. The blonde replies "My computer keeps telling me that i've got mail".
Anyone remember the Janet & John double-entendre stories that Terry Wogan used to read on his breakfast show. Here's one I wrote. Janet has lost John in the supermarket.
DOG: I'm in the garden I know, I'm working from home today. DOG: I can't find that pizza crust you threw out here. There was no crust. I was only pretending haha.
Adam & God God said, 'Adam, I Want you to do something for Me.' Adam said, 'Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?' God said, 'Go down into that valley.' Adam said, 'What's a valley?' God...
A man walks into a bar and asks for a coke because he's driving tonight, The bar tender points to a guy slumped over a table and replies I'll give it you for free if you'll take him home.
Seph rolled her eyes again, "You either choose something for me to wear or I'll go in there naked," She informed him, the problem was he now knew that was something she was fully capable of doing.
Blonde on Flight On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first class...
Once upon a time there was a man with ginger hair. He had no eyes nor ears. They said he had ginger hair so to speak. He could not talk as he had no mouth; he could not smell as he had no nose.
"You, know, I have a girlfriend!" Andy said, taking a deep breath and trying to calm down. She was never going to get off of him, was she.
Oz is a black cat who belongs to my nextdoor neighbour. I was playing with him and he is sooooo funny. When I wriggle his toy in the bush he leaps into the bush and searches for it.
Two seagulls, a father and son, are standing on a lawn. "Dad, I'm hungry..." moans the little seagull. "Tough luck." replies his father.
The other day, my friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill.
A holiday camp for children is not exactly a place i plan on meeting anyone special, but it's where I got dragged each year with my sister and 3 brothers, yes you heard me right, 3 brothers.
A very large, cantankerous invisible monster came into my tv room and just heaved himself onto the sofa with a grump.
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply.
Ok, so on a Sunday morning I want what everyone else wants... Nothing but my bed. However I'm apparently not allowed it... At 8:00, yes 8:00 my nan rings. What does she do at 8:00 on a Sunday...
A guy sticks his head round the door of the barbershop and asks, ‘How long before I can get a haircut.
I'm Mr unicorn and I need needles to put me to sleep!!. I am an idiot.. YAY. I can can turn into 2 other things, I can turn into a raindrop. I'm now a raindrop. And I'm a Stegasauros!!!!.
A woman in Texas bought a car and wanted to check the size of the boot, so she asked her family to lock her inside it. After the boot was closed the woman realised she was still holding the keys.
A man walks into a bar has a few drinks and asks what his tab was. The bartender replies that it is twenty dollars plus tip.