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michga
michga

Nano Pigs

Nano pigs flying past, The mini mammals just Have a blast!. Nano pigs into every space, they think they're trying to help the human race.

30 5 79 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

Obscured

Just this very morning when I was watering the sofa. I noticed that my 98 windows had went missing. I could no longer see outside into the wilderness. It was devastating.

26 12 125 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

Stairs

When I was a lad we didn't have stairs. Nope, none at all. You've got it easy.

22 4 222 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

The Parable of the Potato

There was this old potato that fell out of a sack it was formally sitting inside of, at the supermarket. The supermarket in question is not relevant.

22 5 249 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

200th Opuss

Wow.... I guess this is my 200th Opuss. I would just like to thank all the Opussians who have helped me get this far, especially my 88 wonderful followers.

46 18 240 words
mpallister24
mpallister24

I Went To The Barber

I went to the barber. He cut off my hair, which would have been great, but he didn't stop there. He slipped with his scissors. He snipped with his shears, and cut off my eyebrows and both of my ears.

4 1 120 words
Platypus
Platypus

In My Dream...

In my dream, Things are not what they seem, I hang out with apples and watermelons, Actually from the MUFFIN nation. In my dream, We all have sugar in our tea, I don't like tea, It'll be coffee for...

6 3 104 words
cherrypopicecream
cherrypopicecream

Cecil

Cecil is a centipede. And Cecil is my friend. The last time I saw Cecil. He was this big (Show with hands). I said 'Cecil what have you done??'. 'I had one apple'.

18 0 84 words
cherrypopicecream
cherrypopicecream

Worms

Nobody likes me.

18 3 56 words
VikingHorn
VikingHorn

Cheese Battle News| Frontline Report

The battle has ended, not a moment too soon. Our favorite lasses sing a triumphant tune. We throw a parade, and join in their song, Confident that they will never do wrong.

24 13 224 words
Delilah
Delilah

Hell Hath No Fury| Cheese Battle

#cheesebattle Don't you remember yesterday's trip When I gave you all the slip For a little journey up the Mournes Like the Sound of Music only in Ireland (Norn).

14 6 231 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

How Can I Help You Today?

Machine: Thank you for calling Doctors&Co. You are currently caller number <<Thirty Two>>.

10 2 191 words
leelee101
leelee101

Patience | Cheese Battle

#cheesebattle A little impatient, I feel the win When will this mornings battle begin. A bit of an impasse, it could be draw Come on heroes, wat'cha waitin' for.

14 7 96 words
leelee101
leelee101

Round Six (i think) | Cheese Battle

#cheesebattle Nuclear eggs are everywhere Ha. No match for my bedhair Here D have your knickers back They disappeared right up my crack Give 'em a wash if I were you Oh my god they smell of poo.

16 16 95 words
Delilah
Delilah

Round Two| Cheese Battle

#cheesebattle So what we called the AA To fix the D-Mobile. Did you think Jerome's corpse in the exhaust Would quash our heroic zeal.

20 17 110 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

You Must Buy This!

Clocks. Clocks here. Get your clocks. Never get stuck looking at the sun again. £5 for one clock or £10 for two. Sale ends tomorrow at 3:57pm sharp- don't miss out, get your clocks today.

32 15 60 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

What Can I Do?

@Delilah The wars are over, Puns are done, I'm blushing red, To say I've won, Delilah put up quite a fight, With Stilton, Brie and Gouda might, I very nearly ran clean out, Of cheese puns to use in...

14 7 202 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Riddle Me That #2 Answer

O range juice, R ocks, it never resembles, A pplehead knick-knacks, N ot that I don't like, G oing out to buy applehead knick-knacks, E ven though they don't exist.

14 1 48 words
Thalia
Thalia

The Daily Opusszette

Sorry I didn't use two of the words. @DailyOpussChallenge Hello, magnificent land of opussia. BREAKING NEWS.

4 0 162 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Hello

Hello there.

26 2 148 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Mad Hatter Quotes

"Trust me.

14 4 83 words
OdinsFist
OdinsFist

Wouldn't It Be Funny

Wouldn't it be funny if life didn't end. Wouldn't it be funny if wounds didn't mend. Wouldn't it be funny if people lived forever. Wouldn't it be funny if forever was never.

38 2 102 words
glen
glen

Tea Madness

Glen once knew a man who was sad. Nothing went right he was mad. Cheer up mate. Life can be great. Here have this cup with a Teabag. He took my cup and added water.

48 32 190 words
OdinsFist
OdinsFist

Tea And Sheep

#household. It's early in the morning and I'm making tea. Out the window I look and up in my tree. It's those damn sheep having a laugh. I see one about to drop my most prized bath.

26 12 208 words
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