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#weeklyopusschallenge It appears that Father Christmas who was last seen in Norway, as been arrested tonight after being found drunk and disorderly with the last remnants of a WHISKEY bottle.
#weeklyopusschallenge Yes, it's true. Artic explorers, eager to find Father Christmas, treaded to his lair in the North Pole and astonishingly could NOT find him.
Twas the night before Christmas and all down my street Could be heard creepy moaning and shuffling of feet. Christmas is usually full of joy and cheer, But something sinister was occurring this year.
I've been a bit of an idiot, you see I believed the world would end. I drew out all my life savings and sent a love letter to my girlfriends friend.
. ________ /R. I. P.
So it didn't happen did anyone really think it would. Your advent calendar runs out soon watch out. I don't get it. People stock piling food and water in case they survive.
Rob the white had a very, very bad habit. He was a blood thirsty, meat eating, heart wrenching rabbit.
#adventchallenge Not many of us will survive, We'll be more dead, than alive, But you'll have fun when you're together, I just pray you have bad weather.
We wish you a merry Sick-mas. We wish you a merry Sick-mas. We wish you a merry Sick-mas and a happy Flu year. Runny noses to you, wherever you are and while we're at it how about a bad cough too.
It's The Big One. Not the rollercoaster at Blackpool or the fat guy that sits next to you on the bus, but the most asked question by philosophers and thinkers alike since man invented the toilet.
Glenisim is my new religion, I promote love, faith and life. You can join me too, but you have to have a wife. I will be the father, you must give me all your coin.
"Mom," fretted Bobby, "It seems to be rattling around a bit up there!" "Don't worry," assured Bobby's mother, Susan.
@lukeboy10 #thegreatestjoke *no offence to blondies on the 3rd joke Well I don't know what kind of jokes people like, so I'm going to write many. 1. I sent out a text saying: hey, guys.
Meow motherfuckers So yeah, a whole lot about the world going to end sometime before the new year. The 21st of December being general consensus by what I'm hearing.
Mark had been in and out of a coma, His faithful wife was named Alma. She stayed by his side day and night, She thought everything would turn out right.
A day in the life of a Christmas Tree.......... So I'm just growing in a forest, minding my own business when some stupid jerk with a CHAINSAW, comes along and chops me down...
Ok, so you're a spider. You're born with hundreds of brothers and sisters.
. _________ / R. I. P.
#household. Once was a girl called Sam,. Who cut her finger in a baked bean can,. She ran for a plaster,. Which ended in disaster,. Breaking her neck just wasn't her plan,. Stupid baked beans,.
#household. The stunt rider courted disaster. When he twisted the grip to go faster. The run up was too short. And he couldn't abort. So now he is covered in plaster. But he had a point to prove.
#colour A beauty by the name of Snow White Was sick of her lodgers alright She was fed up with men Who, at two foot ten Couldn't reach to turn off the light So she placed an ad for a guy Who stood...
Deck the halls with greed and envy, Fa la la la la la la la la 'Tis the season to watch some telly, Fa la la la la la la la la.
An Odd Trip with some antisocial organisers...
During a rock climbing expedition, an accident occurred, as some of the grappling hooks gave way.