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As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Wardensfuneral, a voice from inside screamsIm not dead, Im not dead.
"We wanted flying cars, instead we got 140 characters" - Founder's Fund.
Went home last night and my wife suggested I geta penis enlarger. I am meeting a blonde 21 year old nymph tonight..
In 1986 Peter Davis was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from University.
Brought a dog from a blacksmith today, took it home, and straight away it made a bolt for the gate.........
Hi. Greetings from Turkey. The most of Turkish people likes writing. However it is very hard to write another language. If u can add a Turkish menu, people can pay attention this beautiful...
#householdchallenge #paint He had to pause to catch his breath halfway up the stair. A rueful smile crossed his lips as he rested there. Cheerful cries from yesteryear go bounding past his knee.
Remember how with words I loved you I am no more of this world Only in dreams can I visit you I am wandering in the land of shades I kiss your cheeks through each tear of rain Age did...
'Stop pulling Bosun. Whatever's wrong with you today?' she scolded the bulky terrier. He glanced up sheepishly and slowed a little.
The faded oak framed photograph hung in pride of place over the hearth of the ramshackle cottage. An old smack in full sail chased the massive clouds as she ran the tide.
Two WPC's are out and about on foot patrol with their alsatian.One says "I'm getting a bit cold and i've left my knickers at the station."The other one says "Use the dog, give him a sniff of your...
A pub landlord is shutting up for the night, when there is a knock at the door.When he answers, a tramp asks him for a toothpick.
The interviewer asked him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replied, "Yes, caffeine." The interviewer asked him, "Have you ever worked for the public service before?" He replied, "Yes, I was in the...
Life is not measured by the breaths we take. but the moments that take our breath away.
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked.
Denzil says to Louie "I'm getting circumsized tomorrow" Louie says "Well I had it done when I was just 2 days old" Denzil said "does it hurt" Louie said "No but I couldn't walk for 18 fcuking...
It was the school teacher's birthday and all the children had bought a present.The florest's son bought a bunch of flowers, the grocer's daughter bought a basket of fruit, the baker's daughter bought...
A sexually active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because, over the years they have become loose and floppy.
Dora is my friend's mother in law. She was born in 1906, she is 106 years old and is still rational but keen to move on to a better place,( her words). Dora recalled these memories when she was 95.
Look at them and learn to feel. Can you feel their futures dwindling. Spiralling. Falling. Faces familiar to my psyche suddenly seem so foreign My eyes shape their futures. What are they. Beautiful.
A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I...
Two brooms hanging in a cupboard and were having a chat and decided to get married They arrived at the church the bridebroom looking gorgeous in a long flowing bridebroom's dress and the...
In my next life i want to live it backwards.You start out dead and get that out the way.Then you wake up in an old peoples home feeling better every day.You get kicked out for being too healthy.Go...
With his Southend seafront stetson And his plastic handled gun He rode the pontoon prairies In the hazy dockland sun.