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I dont like the saying " what doesnt kill you makes you stronger" I think it should be " what doesnt kill you makes you wiser" because if you It doesnt kill you will not do it again!.
“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.” - Jack Nicholson.
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” - Jack Handey.
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” - Brian Gerald O’Driscoll.
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go” - Oscar Wilde.
The human brain is a wonderful object. It works 7 days a week, 365 days a year. If functions from the time you are born..........and only stops when you take exams!!.
"She's as nutty as squirrel poo" J.K Rowling.
"Always accept who you truly are inside.. Unless you're a serial killer" Ellen Degeneres 2007.
Stupidity and Genius are much the same thing. The only difference is that there is a limit to your Genius..
(Dr Nick Rivera is rifling through a book on the human body.) Dr Nick: "That's what we look like inside. It's disgusting!" (turns page) "Ooh... that woman swallowed a baby!".
"Yes, Wednesday is at that time in her life when she only has one thing on her mind." "Boys?" "Homicide." -The Addam's Family.
It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether..
'I'm over here in the bed, straight, you're over there.. no trousers, gay' -JP - Fresh Meat.
If at first you don't succeed, delete all evidence you even tried it..
"Howard your shoes are delightful.." "What?" "BAZINGA, i don't care!" ~Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory.
Wearing high heels to a party because they make you look sexy but having to take them off because they're impossible to dance in..
When you feel that nobody loves you, Nobody cares for you, Everybody ignores you, You just have to ask yourself one question; "Am I too sexy?".
"Don't talk to me, I've got an idea, and I don't want to forget it. What was it again?".
All people don't need souls... but some people should get brains..
Don't hold your farts in, they travel up your spine to your brain. Thats where all the shitty ideas come from..
For some reason I've always found this funny. 'Have you any commission from your lord to negotiate with my face?' -Lady Olivia, Act One Scene Five of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night..
Impossible. No. Difficult. Yes!.
She feels her faith in human nature, never terribly robust, has been severely tested. -Tamar Cohen "The mistress's revenge".
Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie. ~Penny, The Big Bang Theory<3.