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#household Covent Garden market just the other day Two for twenty quid is the price to pay A little bit extortionate, I have to say It's the best selling ornament in London What it really is no-one...
America. Where pizza comes faster than an ambulance. America. Where the roads are littered with dead animals, trash, and homeless people. America. Where the kids do drugs and drink 'till they drop.
For those who want to be number 1. This is a guide, it's just for fun. It doesn't matter if your writings the best. With no followers it won't pass the test. You can tag everyone in your posts.
I was once a happy man Laughing with my peers But now, thanks to salesman I cant do anything, cheers.
I am not being mean and cruel, but these are one of my hates.
Condition-well used but very good Plenty of power under the hood 3 previous uncarefull owners 3 previous persistent moaners Accelerates hard and fast Strong and Built to last.
One day a biker dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil... Satan: "Why so glum?" Biker : "What do you think.
Half the people you know are below average. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
In my next life i want to live it backwards.You start out dead and get that out the way.Then you wake up in an old peoples home feeling better every day.You get kicked out for being too healthy.Go...
Fill me with your thoughts, Share with me your mind. Let me dig into your personality, And I'll tell you what I find... Just relax on this chez long. And put your mind at ease.
cupid, n. The so-called god of love. This bastard creation of a barbarous fancy was no doubt inflicted upon mythology for the sins of its deities.
This isn't Twitter. Keep your litter. This isn't Facebook. I don't give a fook. This isn't Bebo. That's for the ho. This isn't MySpace. Get off my case. So don't treat it like such.
The annoying nooby mod, obsessed with correcting grammar, Always way too eager to exercise his ban hammer. Promoted by mistake when a name was misspelt, What a stroke of luck he had been dealt.
Dear Mr Grammar Nazi, Please leave me alone?. All this worrying about my text, Has made me lose a stone.
Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the Times.
16+ please. THE CREATION OF A VAGINA. Seven wise men with knowledge so fine Created a pussy to their design. First was a butcher, smart with wit, Using a knife, he gave it a slit.
So iv been getting a lot of stick, For writing things that make others feel thick. So here's a poem that they can relate to, Not that I'm aiming this at any of the opuss crew.
The modern knights, imagine they'd be, On an e-quest, Virtually. Armed with iPads, PC and phones, Fighting hackers, And same-day loans.
This is for the geezers.
:') I love these. Politically Correct Terms For Females: Her breasts will never sag, they will lose their vertical hold.
Once again Eurovision's On the telly. Come on Britain. Give it some welly. There've been Estonians in tinfoil And Frenchmen with cats Round their necks. Come on We're better than that.
If I ruled the world, socks would be sold in threes. Because then that way, Nobody would have cold knees. If I ruled the world, Police would have space hoppers.
One day, many years after the Clinton scandal, Hillary is struck by a car and killed. Soon, Hillary finds herself at the gates of Heaven. She sees St.
You know you're a Taliban if... You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer. You own a 3000 quid machine gun and 5000 quid rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.