My Thoughts
You know that feeling. It's is your chest, the one you get before you are about to loose it.
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You know that feeling. It's is your chest, the one you get before you are about to loose it.
View from behind two little girls heads, staring out the window, shouts of " get him out" come from outside the panel.
8th grade. Supposed to be the most memorable year of my life so far. And it is. But not for good reasons. It all started when my parents legalized their divorce.
It's REALY hard being me for example in a spotty ,fat unpopular , nerdy ,14 year old teenager. I get picked on a lot . Anyway my name is Ned Anderson I get called nerdy Ned .
Annie sat on her bed, gazing at the models in her favourite magazines. They were all stick thin with bones everywhere, they were so thin in fact it was unhealthy. But for Annie, this was beautiful.
It was a cold December afternoon, the wind felt like ice sweeping through my hair. The snow laid on the ground, frozen to the dry land, but the trees looking like a winter wonderland.
This was all an excuse, I think. I was doing fine. I had a 93 average and I was holding my head above water. I had good friends and a loving family.
The banging, its started again. I though I had gotten rid of it when I took ... Never mind. I just can't seem to shake it. A constant banging in my head. Bang, bang, bang, BANG. Why won't it go away.
"well, I guess that's it" I say quietly to myself. Finished, gone, what have I done. "look honey don't be upset I know that-" "look dad I'm just going to have to face it OKAY?!!" I scream at him.
Before you judge me, think about what I'm going through right now. My best friend left me for someone else. I'm getting called dumb and a retard. No one listens when I cry.
They want perfection. They don't want me. I am not what they want. I am not perfect. The world wants perfect. I am unaccepted. I am unlikable. I am unprotected from their attacks. Their name calling.
Please I want you to hate me. I don't want your sympathy I want your hate. I want my life to be absolutely terrible so I can justify my pain and sadness.