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Help. Phone the police, ambulance and fire service. Why do you nee the fire service. I don't know, just anything with flashing lights on top!.
I speak three languages: ENGLISH, SARCASM, AND SEXUAL INNUENDOS. :D ~ Ashley Purdy Oh Ashley how you crack me up..
'Why's it hot?' 'Because it's a lamp'.
*inspecting uniform at air cadets* Dan: have you got anything under those trousers?.
Patrick: I have better things to do than get high with my brother... Us: ....
James: look at his, it's tiny. (actually talking about his torch but it sounded like something else...).
Lilly: Would my phone speaker sound louder if I put it in my mouth. Patrick: your bra???.
James: now, who likes to make videos. No, not that sort....
Christina: you go round the back and I'll go round the front. Ewan: ....
When people say " You Know You Love Me" it's probably cos they want something!!. :/.
Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people. The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad. Alice: How do you know I'm mad. The Cat: You must be.
I'am very funny and I thought you should know that about me. Bye bye!!!!.
"Happy implausible resurrection day!" - Bill Bailey.
There are holes in the sky, Where the rain gets in, But they're ever so small, That's why rain is thin..
Fell downstairs and broke my egg in two places. That's easter ruined. -Stephen Fry.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac. ~George Carlin.
You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up..
Playing pool is quite a lot like life. You sit on a green baize, and giant coloured balls get poked about by long wooden poles... Actually, come to think of it, life isn't much like pool at all..
Whoever you are, wherever you go, just be yourself. Or a reasonable facsimile..
Travelling back through time is the best thing I will/have/am currently ever/just have/shall have done..
Sanity is relative, but not my relative. - me.
"I dream of a better tomorrow, when chickens can cross the road, and not have their motives questioned!" xxx.
" Why do people say "grow some balls". Balls are weak and sensitive. If you really want to get tough, grow a vagina. Those things take a pounding. " - Betty White.