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ashleighlaurenm
ashleighlaurenm

Clock

If her age is on the clock shes too young for your cock Not meant to be offensive.

38 9 18 words
DemonCarter
DemonCarter

Exotic Animals - A Joke For The LAD's

I went to the pet store the other day and I asked the shopkeeper if he had any animals that could help me in my everyday life.

44 2 309 words
Andy_Hayhurst
Andy_Hayhurst

Jimmy Saville

When I was 11, I was Jimmy Saville's wingman..

20 0 9 words
Blackrose
Blackrose

Coffee & Testicles

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes, caffeine.

36 0 182 words
nikujagagirl
nikujagagirl

The Simpsons

Marge: Bart. How did you get that cellphone?!?!?!?. Bart: Same way you got me, by accident... on a golf course..

38 1 20 words
albisher
albisher

Untitled

Banana and a vibrator sitting on a bedside table. Banana turns to vibrator: I don't know why you're fuckin shaking, she's going to eat me!.

34 0 25 words
blahblah
blahblah

Well I Never

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball. Gaged.

12 0 11 words
bebokalo13
bebokalo13

Condom: Exactly As U Said.

At the clinic:: Doctor: Using of condom can stop unwanted pregnancy. He demonstrated how to use condom putting it in his thumb and said that's how you should put it on just before sex.

40 0 108 words
Edhum3
Edhum3

- Read It And Weep -

I GOT A DIG BICK You that read wrong You read that wrong too!.

74 8 14 words
albisher
albisher

Untitled

A pregnant woman is in the bank when the bank is robbed. A gunfight breaks out, and she is shot 3 times in the abdomen. She is rushed to the hospital. Miraculously, she is unharmed.

84 7 231 words
Dave2332
Dave2332

Terminator 2

Dropping bomb in lab Scientist: ( breath very strongly) John: dude come on(very angry) Scientist: (breath very strongly again) John: Dude just drop the fucking bomb already.

10 0 27 words
rominkemalka
rominkemalka

Untitled

jxjsbjxsnxksnxknxkn.

10 2 1 words
Odd
Odd

Untitled

It's funny how erection, infection and protection all rhyme - remember to put a hat on it guys. Or this might become something more serious than a joke... Like herpies... Nobody wants herpies.

26 4 43 words
jesus
jesus

Joke

What do ethiopian do at night . Starve.

0 1 8 words
Marleys_Ghost
Marleys_Ghost

Australian Agony Aunt

I got this off the Web Dear Bruce, I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual.

66 3 383 words
AnonLifeliver
AnonLifeliver

Untitled

Two old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat comes along and flashes at them. One of them has a stroke, the other one couldn't quite reach. :D.

40 0 35 words
eddie
eddie

awsome.

right so i was banging this hoe and and her boy friend walked in and i was like WO. bdum tschhh.

8 0 21 words
Lushee
Lushee

Always Need Protection

Dad "I'm gonna put a hand full of condoms in the glove compartment of the car ...

8 0 82 words
Supertecnoboff
Supertecnoboff

Silence

There was a survey on why men liked blowjobs - 5% liked the look, 15% liked the feel and the other 80% liked the silence!.

20 0 25 words
lovebugmodel
lovebugmodel

A Stupid Joke

One day there was an old man who's name was Jeffrey and he was a bit deaf. So he asked his next door neighbour what his house should be called and his next door neighbour said fairy plum.

22 6 99 words
Andy_Hayhurst
Andy_Hayhurst

Assange

After numerous requests to leave the embassy, Julian Assange was reported to scream "NO MEANS NO!".

8 0 16 words
kidnapthesandyclaws
kidnapthesandyclaws

Well I'm Not Good With Titles xD

Two boys and a pregnant lady are at a bus stop. One of the boys asks the lady: what are you expecting. lady replies: a bus The boy turns his friend and says: holy shit dude, she fucked a transformer.

46 5 41 words
helo
helo

Beer Library

A man walks into a library and asks the lady behind the desk loudly' CAN I HAVE 3 BOTTLES OF BEER PLEASE' The lady replies sorry sir this a library.

46 0 43 words
Lushee
Lushee

On Getting Rescued By A lifeguard At The Beach

Lifeguard : "what were you doing that far out. You can't swim. ...Son you're a good athlete, but I'v seen what you call swimming.It looks like a slow kid on his knees trying so smash ants.".

18 0 36 words
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