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You're really really lovely, You really bloomin' are, So absolutely scrumptious. The yummiest by far You taste like sweety drops And smell like cherry pie, I really could just eat you up.
Not 'if', but when I become prime minister, things are going to change. This countries lost its identity, but this I plan to change. I want to bring the Empire back, this countries become a bore.
The owl and the pussycat went to sea. In a knackered old wooden boat. They hadn't sailed more than a yard offshore. When sea water splashed her fur coat. 'All I wanted', she complained to the owl.
Bugle boy, bugle boy Won't you blow your horn.
I didn't know Santa was stuck in my chimney, when I lit the fire below. I never heard a peep from him, not so much as a Ho Ho Ho. Even when he was burning and being roasted alive.
This is based on a joke I read, I've reworded it into a poem.
Some people are stupid. Just plain stupid. I'll leave it at that. Not book smarts stupid. Hope is enough for a miracle stupid. No I'm not say don't believe in hope.
"There's a message in there somewhere", said the spider to the fly. He always liked a chat before he ate. "Don't be sad now fella, it's a shame to see you cry. Who are we to judge the hand of fate?".
Joint poem with @sjw Sienna,writing alternating lines,guess who wrote which lines.
#beginningline I was stood, frozen, facing the old ornate mirror, and too scared to open my eyes.
*Warning - Contains themes some readers may find offensive. You have been warned.* #xmasparody Silent night, unholy might. Travelled through time, to slay this night.
There was an old farmer. Who lived on a rock. He sat in the meadow. Just shaking his. Fist at some boys. Who were down by the crick. Their feet in the water. Their hands on their.
#colour. Please, before you read this, can I just say its not true lol. I've got a slight problem, that I'm just unable to stop. I fancy old grannies, weather you think that's right or not.
Had a great weekend with you @OfMonstersAndMen WEEEHEE ARE NEVER EVER EVER TAKING ACID FROM A STRANGER. Good. Good. I'm in a wheelchair for Gods sake. I can't feel anything below my waist.
It was sticky in the bush, for Pablo and his mates. Bouncing around with the kangaroos and challenging turtles to race. Now things where pretty bonza, for Pablo, Mixxy and Titch.
@Irrational_Kimmi The dolphins are out to get us, They want us dead, you know. They've got machine guns, plenty, To finish off the show.
#glensbored. There's a big hungry lion named Ted. Who got angry went he wasn't being fed. He escaped from his cage. And was full of rage. But he got shot, so now Ted's dead.
I'm lost and confused. Can't find the damn door. Alone in this room. I can't take anymore. People are talking. I hear them out there. They know that I'm in here. But they just don't care.
It was a fragile stability, that kept the man in his place. Shuffling up and down corridors, inner turmoil etched on his face. He hated the indignity, when summoned to cue for his meds.
Wanted: A job that allows me to flow with creativity and fun ideas. Doesn't restrict me from enjoying life or being myself, but encourages me to be my chatty, bubbly and wickedly delightful self.
Have you ever been told the story of Lesley Long Stocking.
Can't say I care for her, she always hangs around, Self-absorbed in her groaning sound. She professes her love, in a friendly bite, It itches so much, I can't sleep at night.
Are you frustrated at everyday life. Bored with your job. Fed up with your boss. Need to sound off without any comeback. Ronco proudly presents... BOB-O-MATIC.
Here goes... There once was a man called daniel, He had ears like a cocker spaniel, They swished from side to side, One day he cried, When he burnt his ear in the gravy granules.