Don't Judge Me.
I wish I could talk like I think. Speak as fluid as I blink. I wish I could bottle my dreams, My laugh be as loud as my screams. I wish I could smile and it spread, As quickly as hair grows on my...
Thousands of free stories. Support your favorites when you're ready.
Showing stories tagged with #humor Clear filter
I wish I could talk like I think. Speak as fluid as I blink. I wish I could bottle my dreams, My laugh be as loud as my screams. I wish I could smile and it spread, As quickly as hair grows on my...
It's very simple. Scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock. Rock crushes lizard. Lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitates lizard. Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock.
Does my Opuss have only nine lives.
Before you read this, I would just like to tell you that nothing that is said in verses 9 and 10 are real... So enjoy.
It's New Years Day So tradition dictates That resolutions are made For us later to break. Will it be a diet, Or perhaps more exercise. More time with the family Enjoying the highs.
I was going to post a quote But there wasn't any need There's already far too many Clogging up my feed An instalment of my story A nice fat juicy chunk But I couldn't concentrate Because I got a...
I've decided to do a sponsored swim, I'm going to swim the Pacific Everyone thinks its a bad idea, but I think it's terrific I've been in training for weeks, well I don't want to look a fool Ive just...
Just a little quickie. A quickie write for you. I send birthday wishes. BEHAVE, whatever you do. A huggie is in the air. I'll send it your way. Virtual hugs are fast. That's what they say.
A joke between friends. ---------------------------------. We talk about drains all the time. A pass time I think is fine. We started a club for fun. Taking photos of drains.
A Frenchwoman took her little daughter to the Louvre where they saw a statue of a nude male. "What is that?" asked the child pointing to the penis.
I come in peace and i mean you no harm My old friend sleep trying to use its charm But I'm not really listening to its tales of dreams Over tiredness really does exist it seems Desperate for...
#adventchallenge Should I make a promise Just to break it the next day Shall I take a vow of goodness Then renege on what I say Have I the will to give up smoking For I'm just a normal bloke It'd...
I always seem to write about I hate me etc so here at 10 positive things that I like about me... :s Firstly I am as tall as a tree There isn't a chance you're taller than me.
A happy post from me you need. Too many posts of sad I concede. So here's a poem full of sun and no rain. A happy post from the depths of my brain. Lots of smiles and no crying here.
I'm a beginner crocheter and so as my experience has evolved, through much help from Youtube, I've learned some tips that have been quite helpful in my endeavor.
I dropped my iPhone in the toilet, Oh well, At least I didn't boil it. I watched it fall and make a splash, I'm angry, It cost me so much cash. My mother yelled, My father sighed.
He sits on my shoulder, She does too, Ones my voice, The other one too, Ones the angel, The other the devil, Like a battle of wits, They're never on the same level.
Why is this song stuck in my head. Couldn't it be a song I like instead. I haven't heard this song in 10 years, But the stupid sound is still ringing in my ears. When will it stop.
Stomachs don't rumble when they're hungry, The moon isn't made of cheese, So stop telling these useless lies, No one believes them, please.
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis, he said,...
When it comes Christmas time, and the wrapping needs to be done, you think you know where your Sellotape and scissors are, don't you. Oh well you're wrong.
Once upon a time. (Ok, 36 years ago). There was an Xmas baby. Who became a bloke you know. You'll recognise his writing. 'Cos he always makes you laugh. Especially the time.
I'm a little disappointed, That today was just the norm, Expected zombies, shooting stars, Or hornets in a swarm.
So last Friday night was date night, It went alright. Till up to a certain point.. My mate tagged along, So was the three of us, which was fun. We all bantered, laughing aloud.