Untitled
Wishing everyone round the world a Merry Christmas!.
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I Want a New Drug
Apparently my dealer is out of town for the holidays so can someone please hook me up with an ounce of mistletoe?.
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Break Free
Let go of the things that holds you back. Live. Love. Laugh..
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Date Advice
LADIES: Taco Bell or McDonalds. I got a first date tonight and really want to impress this gal by not making her spend too much..
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Words With Food
If you are someone who uses the word ˝eatery,˝ you need to take a good long look at yourself in the reflectionery..
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Who's That Girl?
Just found a number in my phone for someone named ˝Girl˝. I'm not a player I just forget the names of acquaintances a lot ;).
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Crank It Up Santa!
˝Do You Hear What I Hear˝ is bittersweet for the hearing impaired, no matter how high you turn it up on Christmas..
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Time
If you look at your watch more frequently, Time goes by more slowly....
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Lucid/Philosopher
Fight the evil even if you lose your mind or lose your mind and live without it..
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How Many Meals A Day?
I hate when I'm done eating for the day!.
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Mela
Accarezza un sacco di mele da cui fuoriesce un succo delizioso, un sacco di succo!.
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Drinking On Christmas
Christmas is more fun with kids around because you can get drunk and play with the new toys while they take a mandatory nap.
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Whip It Good!
There's a new alcoholic whipped cream. Way to go scientists. You know cancer is still a real serious problem guys!.
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First Thought
Finally, an app for writing, an app to let the words flow....
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Secret Santa
Sign up for a Secret Santa gift exchange if you're into being anonymously disappointed..
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What's Your Sleep Number?
My sleep number is Jagermeister!.
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Help Hotline
If you ever feel sad remember that there's a number you can call and a pizza will be there in 30 minutes..
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Sour Dreams
I never brush my teeth before bed in case I have a dream about eating an orange..
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Hey Smart Guy
Anytime I start thinking I'm pretty smart, I just remind myself how often I accidentally sit through the commercials on something I DVR'd..
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Untitled
Trying to understand how this thing works..
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First Opuss Post
Greetings to all Opuss users from the land of Cilento, Southern Italy!.
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Baby Gifts
If you're gonna dress your baby up as a Christmas present, it's only right I get to shake'em..
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Facebook Photos
The second Facebook lets us see which photos people look at, I will instantly lose all my female friends with swimsuit pictures..
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Fear Factor
Hoping that watching Fear Factor tonight will inspire more women to put something ˝crazy˝ in their mouth..
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