Buttitches
A kid named Buttitches had his first day at a new school. When the teacher asked what his name was he said "Buttitches".
10
0
131 words
Explore Unputdownable Stories
Thousands of free stories. Support your favorites when you're ready.
Showing stories tagged with #dark-humor Clear filter
3 Quick Limericks
#colourchallenge. There was a young man named Trey. Who's hair was silvery grey. The kids all made fun. Until he bought a gun. He became the silver assassin that day. There once was a man named Liu.
10
4
85 words
Glen Bobit
My names Glen and my girlfriend cut off my Knob. It took her two weeks, it was a hell of a job. I've had it sowed back now but I'm still in so much pain.
84
24
122 words
Ralph's Return
#ralphsreturn You've probably heard of him before, his name might send shivers up your spine, chill you to the bone, maybe even remind you of that restraining order that never seemed to work or of...
24
13
260 words
Playing With Fire 2
This is a slightly morbid hallowe'en edition for @Irrational_Kimmi, on account of our personal joke of setting trick or treaters on fire.
24
7
173 words
I Need You???
I need you like a hole in the head I'd rather be sick in my bed I need you like an enema Do you hear me...huh.
36
19
81 words
The Perfect House for Floods and Zombies: Chapter One
The final limb was thick, twisted and green, but the chainsaw tore through it hungrily. I let go of the top safety leaver with my index and middle fingers and let the machine hang by my side.
34
10
691 words
Done Yet?
Outside of first and does my bum look big in this @leelee101 @Tiia. Your inside choosing your clothes. While I'm outside killing your foes. Lee thinks he's so very fast.
14
8
178 words
Grave Humour...
.
96
51
47 words
That's Your Lot
Here's something they left out at my Sunday school classes..
16
6
47 words
Zombies 'R' Us
I know this perfect store, If you're looking for gore. The range is really delightful, The products terrifically frightful. To begin your free trial, Walk down the frozen goods aisle.
30
0
120 words
'Opulent Cream Charade'
"Painting walls is sooooo boring!" I moan, though there is nobody here to hear my plight. I flop back into the fold-up camp seat and admire my handy work...
26
8
238 words
For You
For you I will lift mountains of sadness For you I will kick away all the madness For you I will crush all fears For you I will hide away my tears For you I will pave a road to happiness For you I...
26
10
106 words
Just Another Cliche Teen Vampire Romance Story Thingymabob
Hi, Hello, What's up. What's new. I've known you, For a day or two, Yes, OMG, A week, yippee.
50
5
90 words
Joke
A lady is going into labour. There is now new technology where the pain can be transferred to the father. Her husband who was standing next to her agreed he should have half the pain.
20
6
96 words
XD
I found this fake emergency services script for young kids. I've only included the scenario and the odd bit. Scenario: you walk in the kitchen and you see your mum lying on the floor, unconscious.
24
6
79 words
The Tale Of Geoff And Mrs Jenkins
A boy named Geoff did a job for his Nan And he went to deliver Mrs Jenkins some jam. An elderly lady, Mrs Jenkins was nice, And she offered him tea or a fruit juice and ice.
20
5
110 words
ASCII
.
20
0
42 words
Little Miss Stuff It
Little Miss Stuff it. Sat on her bucket. Drinking herself away. Along came a spider. Sid he did tell her. A friend to Miss Stuff it some say. So Little Miss Stuff it. With Sid and her bucket.
38
18
66 words
Roses
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, And so are you. The roses are wilting, The violets are dead, The sugar bowl is empty, Just like your head.
28
2
51 words
Deadly Fruit
One day in the forest, three guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of red indians attaked them and knocked them out.
16
8
219 words
Couple A Jokes And Quotes
(not mine) Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
6
0
224 words
Big Bad
I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down, The big bad wolf, I'm the roughest in town. Three little piggies, taste good on toast - I liked the one with the straw house the most.
22
3
114 words
Lunch
#halloweenparty. Along came a spider. One fine September day. Minding her own business. She began to spin away. Round in decreasing circles. Making up her web. She'd have to finish soon.
26
19
148 words