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#emotion #annoyance One is officially thrift, So, obviously, very miffed, At the way you require, To see us desire, So you can say "Pish, posh and spiffed." I am a Brit, you many agree, Some think...
*10 things in golf that sound dirty* 1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5.
An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
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I'm feeling a bit of butt tension. Need to blast out this inner frustration. I'm not talking of loose STOOLS here. I won't make this poem messy don't fear.
#household Of all the fruits in the fruit bowl, the apple's the most illustrious Steve Jobs made a mint, designing apples to be industrious It has the power to heal, if administered once day When...
@Georgiastar #household Fruit hat, fruit hat Come get your fruit hat The vendor sells them custom made But if you wear them you could get shamed. Fruit hat fruit hat Look at all the styles.
My Terrific, galaxy shaping #Dazza competition has been won. Congratulations @Crowncottage. You correctly identified my friend Dazzas eternal true love. He loves words that have double letters in...
I have many Nic-Names, Some of them are tame, Like Nix or Nic-no-nar, Some may call me a 'star', Once it was even - 'that saucy minx at the bar' .
I'm sure my name May make you smile Say 'Om Nom Nom' Just for a while I chose the simple Name of 'Nom' To distinguish Myself from The other longer Usernames As it were, I'm Playing games In three...
#household Dia monds are a girls best friend Well they're certainly mine Full of lustre, brilliance and sparkle. A clarity so devine.
A teacher asked her pupils what they did over the Summer Holidays...
Use them to see Have 2 of each Make into one letter Add a space for no breach Fluffy clouds Resting high _ _ _ _ _ your head Take away 'AB' And put an 'L' instead One more space We're almost...
There once was a man with an ox, His job was to knit woollen socks, Everyone called him a fox, But his name was really Knox.
A redhead goes to the doctor and the doctor looks at her and says "now what seems to be the problem here" She says "doc every time i touch myself it hurts. Watch." she poked herself all over.
The bartender says, "No, we have cherries and grapes but no olives." "Oh," says the duck and leaves.
#augustwriteaday. #nightdwellers. There's no place to put your loot. When you're wearing your birthday suit. I hide mine. Where the sun don't shine. But that makes me walk like a coot.
Now then, Kim, not being smug Mine would have to come in a mug Lots of ice, nice and cold Extra fruity (or so I'm told) At least three shots, filled to the top And then I'll drink 'em 'til I drop.
Preparing a dinner,. A feast for a king,. The best of all words,. Are the words I will bring,. There's simile noodles,. And acronym cake,. A steaming ink pie,. And a warm haiku bake,.
A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the huband keeps looking.
Q:Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it?.
Three aspiring golfers were taking lessons from a pro. The first guy hit the ball far to the right. "That was due to LOFT," said the pro. The second man hit his ball far to the left.
It had been a long time coming, he wasn't there because he was vain. He was there because he deserved it, and King Leelee was his name. The throne suited his bottom, as he suited the top.
Welcome back, You elephant, We're glad you're here, It's excellent, But, still, I have to be a pain, I now will try to guess your name, It could be Nolan, Thomas, Bert, Or Derek, Jerry, Bet you'll...