Deep Inside Me
Dear Allen, When I looked inside of my self, blankness was all I could see. I tried to reveal myself to others and myself but I could not succeed. Then a time came about when I was forced to find me.
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Dear Allen, When I looked inside of my self, blankness was all I could see. I tried to reveal myself to others and myself but I could not succeed. Then a time came about when I was forced to find me.
The rain spatters the window of classroom, making a gloomy day gloomier still.
So I've got to have food OCD. Why. Just because, I don't like peppers on my pizza. Not anything but cheese. Mushrooms, pineapple NO. Just cheese please.
It's raining. Raining like you would never have seen. Seen nothing like it before. Before today. Today will be a good day. Day when it all comes to an end. End the tiredness and aching.
Am I the new hot topic. The new joke everyone is talking about, I'm just a fool and no one will help. Instead they trick me, making me see myself as something I'm not.
Right then, that's quite enough wallowing in self pity. Some people may act pretty sh*tty... But sod them all, I'm going to smile - I'll try it for a little while :) Ooh, I see, it's not so bad.
Born and raised in Essex And I'm still living there Just under 5' 8" , blue eyes And I possess brown hair Right, that's it, that's all you get Oh, I see, you want some more.
It's no fun, Feeling Glum, Life's a bum. It's all sh*t, I'm done with it, Stuck in a pit :( Give me a gun, It's time for some fun, Am I the only one?. Now I'm mad, Going Bad, Things I never had...
My friend, we can all see you are hurting, but yet no cares. We see you cry, but no one wipes up your tears. We see yourself never smiling, we show no interest to make it smile.
So your calling me a coward. Because I killed my self. I'm selfish coz I ended my life. But there's we're I have you it's my life to do with as I please. Not yours.
Don't forget to smile. I remind my self. Say the words you practised. that's it looking good. just a bit longer. I know there talking. I just don't care what there saying. It looks important.
My darling, oh my sweet darling. What in the world will we do, darling. Why can't we help falling. Why can't we help calling. My sweet darling, do you know what they say.
Anna looked at herself in the mirror Her finger tracing letters etched on her skin Her mind; a jigsaw shaken up Desperately seeking the person within She longed for the friction inside to end Longed...
@naaviie challenge w/ Driftwood, letter, jigsaw, mirror, friction, release Float with me among the driftwood, and find sweet release.
@misslittleDHP 's improv challenge... Words: alone, think, tree, wind, bare, tense. The need to be alone encompasses me, While I sit beneath this old oak tree.
We can't take it, can't stop it, But that's the way we are. The world is fighting against us, We got our proof, a scar. They left us, they broke us, And now we're all alone.
That night, Paul begged for me to tell him everything. Everything I wrote here.
I changed my band aids and went to my World Studies final the next day. I wore a long sleeved blue shirt that hid my wrist perfectly. My dad eyed my left arm suspiciously.
She grabbed my phone and opened up my texts. I just let her. I couldn't move. Couldn't speak. By the way her eyes burned with flaming anger, I knew she had just read Paul calling me an attention...
I froze. She looked at me with her big, blue eyes. I couldn't look back. I couldn't look at anyone. I got dizzy. "Uh," I said softly. I waited for a lie to spring from my throat. Anything.
I woke up. My depressed state was gone. I felt refreshed and ready for my Chorus and French finals. I lifted up my hand. And my mouth dropped open. Dozens of cuts riddled my left wrist.
After a moment, Paul typed: "EMILY YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FREAKING ATTENTION WHORE I'VE EVER KNOWN STOP PLAYING THESE FREAKING STUPID GAMES OMG GUYS IM SCRATCHING MY WRISTS BECAUSE IM SO GOTH FEEL SORRY...
"That's nice." I stared at the tiny scratch I'd made on my left wrist. "Again," the voice of my depressed side urged. "Again." Scratch. "Again." Scratch. "Paul," I typed. "I'm not cutting.
"You are an ugly, worthless, piece of nothing." I closed my eyes and tried to fight it. The thoughts pouring into my head. "No wonder those people at church treat you like a loser.