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I woke up. My depressed state was gone. I felt refreshed and ready for my Chorus and French finals. I lifted up my hand. And my mouth dropped open. Dozens of cuts riddled my left wrist.
After a moment, Paul typed: "EMILY YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FREAKING ATTENTION WHORE I'VE EVER KNOWN STOP PLAYING THESE FREAKING STUPID GAMES OMG GUYS IM SCRATCHING MY WRISTS BECAUSE IM SO GOTH FEEL SORRY...
"That's nice." I stared at the tiny scratch I'd made on my left wrist. "Again," the voice of my depressed side urged. "Again." Scratch. "Again." Scratch. "Paul," I typed. "I'm not cutting.
"You are an ugly, worthless, piece of nothing." I closed my eyes and tried to fight it. The thoughts pouring into my head. "No wonder those people at church treat you like a loser.
I smiled at my small circle of friends as we hung out in the courtyard during finals. My beautiful, perfect, wonderful friends. Paul was the only one that knew about the other side of me.
I feel really guilty about something but I can't tell people cuz I promise I wouldn't and it's not like it's gonna hurt anyone's feeling but but it will ruin my friendship with someone I have known...
It's like my life is this big bin. My opinions, my emotions etc are all at the bottom under piles and piles of other people's drama, grief, confusion, happiness, upset and stress.
Inspired by the lovely @HeatherAnne 's poem titled "Opuss." Mwah x. If you are lacking in any kind of way. Surround yourself with positive friends. Who will support you on your "off days".
Music thumping, people jumping, (some are humping), Sordid little place, this is. Innocence lost, at what cost. She holds the tiny package.
They say that there's no place like home. What If you feel you don't belong there. Everyday Clare went home, She did nothing but go straight to her room.
I have an ugly red one, it works like Prozac; y'know the type they say makes you high as clouds, and also it has a side effect; you shop like a maniac. I can say I do feel high when I'm out to shop.
Not mine, unknown artist. That boy you punched in the hall today, commited suicide a few minutes ago. That girl you called a slut in class today is a virgin.
Why is it that i'm sat here trying to figuer what to write. Somethings eating away at me deep inside and i'm not alright. Inside my mind I can see myself just pacing back and forth agitated.
This maybe a little explicit. Just wanted to vent about feelings I had in the past. I sometimes worry it'll all come back when times get hard. I'm sitting here alone and quiet.
This maybe a little explicit. Just wanted to vent about feelings I had in the past. I sometimes worry it'll all come back when times get hard. I'm sitting here alone and quiet.
So, it STARTED with the tugging, Fine hairs drifting to the ground, Pulling at my scalp a bit, Breaking off without a sound.
Sharryn took me to her office on the top floor of the school.
Scarification. Self mutilation. Born from the very depths of Frustration. No way out of a bad situation. Bleeding to set my soul free. Damnation. Religious condemnation.
Sunday, 6 February 2011You just couldn't make it upGood Afternoon Mr Radford and Mrs Smiff I come with news today that you have been joined by some secret followers!!!.
Thursday, 20 January 2011Im supposed to be doing the hoovering.Erm im not being lazy but im an addict to status updating on facebook so its kinda all on there, i spend so much time doing it i have no...
Have you ever noticed that when we are hurt we have a 'broken heart'. That we feel incomplete and start to tear ourselves appart. How is it that we think the muscles in our chest determin how we feel.
I'm lacking emotions now My rage has driven them out Then dissipated, leaving me Alone to face my doubt My vision is somewhat clouded My future no longer clear I'm worried that I am losing myself It...
Just a short one because I've got loads of exams tomorrow: "This morning we're going out. Charlie's got his parent's yacht for the day and we're going on it okay.
I realized today that I never actually get bored. I was amazed by the fact 'cause when thought of it it had nothing, was just boring.