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#bored #slightlypissed I'm a pretend psychic, I'd pretend to read your palm I'd tell you what you want to hear its wrong but wheres the harm I pretend to see the spirits and pretend to see the...
#opussweeklychallenge I was walking home down a quiet country lane (silly I know) Six inch red killer heels, I must've been insane (a girls got to look her best you know) Anyway in the distance...
They call me " The Shadow." Moving with stealth through the night Avoiding people everywhere and houses all aglow An old man thinks he sees me, but doesn't trust his sight Just a fleeting sweep of...
For @Irrational_Kimmi Do not laminate the children, Do not cover them in glue, Do not feed them coloured pencils, These are things you must not do.
How to know a vampire Is the lesson of the day You won't need your crucifix So let's throw that away Garlic, Holy Water They won't be doing much You'll find out for yourself If you surrender to his...
#Halloweenparty #invite An invitation in the post, Covered in blood, and many a cockroach. A piece of mail sent by me, Barnacle encrusted, baby's pee. A letter of invite, Filled with a dead sprite.
Being Hallowe'en I thought I'd get myself a lass One I didn't need to drug with a modicum of class No candidate came forth so I checked within my feed And I scoured all of Opussia for the body parts...
#halloweenparty Every decent party Needs a pukka bill of fare This one's slightly different For it's designed to scare How about an aperitif A little something to drink In keeping with the theme A...
A big stone fell from the sky. Without any reason why. It bruised me and I'm all blue. And there's nothing I can do. Doctors told me I should be dead. It's worst when I forget what they said.
My dad frequently repeats this joke us, most of the time unintentionally, but I always laugh at the end.
It was the end of term and all the kids were giving the teachers presents. Lucy was the last one to give Miss her present. Lucy's Dad worked at the bar so Miss expected the same present as last year.
I really didn't mean it I really did try I held back for a little bit But then there was a fly You know I have to get them The house just got in my way Don't blame me Blame that fly Where is he now.
#halloweenparty #witches. I'm a bad ass nasty witch and I'd turn you into a bat. Then I'd take your children and feed em till their fat. I'd put them in my caldron with a square egg and leg of fish.
I was raised by a sheep hoarder in the Swiss alps. Yes, a sheep hoarder. You did read that correctly. My mother was one of my parents and she raised me in the ways of a sheep herder.
Sometimes, things don't turn out the way you want them to.
The chocolate walked towards his friends. They were still stuck in the pack. ~STOMP.... STOMP~ 'Ahhh,' Screamed the piece of chocolate. 'Human!!' He stood up to attention and fell flat on his face.
#colourchallenge. He muffles every word that he says. He's died a plethora of ways. But he's back within days. He's the boy in the orange duffel coat. He has three friends from his school.
I had an incident with floss, It still fills me with fear, Yes, on that cold and stormy night, The memory's crystal clear, For, I had just brushed my teeth, Colgate, max white fresh, When all at...
Sweet pie there you are under your glass lid. It brings back memories from when I was a kid. Of sitting beneath window sills.
#emotion Emotions wound up tight With sharp edges that bite I'm a surly lass with storms forecast Batten down or take flight.
Oh what me gwan do. Me forgot me chickin for da stew. Me only gots me rice and peeeeeas. Ma man him won't be best pleased. Oh what me gwan do. Me gots a haaard choice ta chose.
#household Heard it on the radio Very late last night The world is gonna end In a brilliant flash of light They're not sure when And they're not sure how You'll need your factor one million Panic...
Please join me in proclaiming the Mantra of Monday.
Kat the Squirrel, so she was known, Was a funny little squirrel who lived with her mom, And everyday, before she went out, She'd say: "Stay right here and don't daddle about!" And poor poor Kat...