Apple
An apple a day Keeps the doctor away. ...yeah... That's only if you decided to lob it at him and knock him out cold. .
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24 words
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I Am A Killer
I am a cereal killer. Here is my list of past murders: Cheerios Special K Cornflakes Coco pops And next on my list: WEETABIX!!!!!. All you other cereals, beware.....
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Untitled
Have you heard of the constipation movie. No Good, it hasn't come out yet.
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1
14 words
AFTERNOON DELIGHT
This works best if you eat in a super buffet that usually have different varieties of ice cream, not just the standard soft serve fare.
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84 words
Say Milk
Say milk Milk Say milk 5 times Milk milk milk milk milk What do dogs drink MILK!. They drink water Dam.
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21 words
Untitled
Every snack you make, Every meal you bake Every bite you take I'll be watching you. (insert picture of dog looking longingly and think of sting/the police).
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27 words
My Fav Foods :)
Marmite on crumpets, Green & Black white choc, KFC supercharger, Cheese Doritos..
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12 words
Lol
People say that the only veg that makes you cry is an onion... Clearly nobody has been hit by a falling water mellon (ouch) Please follow me.
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27 words
Muffin Humour
Chocolate and blueberry muffin sitting in an oven. Chocolate: is it hot in here or what. Blueberry: wow a talking muffin!!!.
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21 words
Alcohol
Alcohol doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean..... Against tables, chairs, walls, floors and ugly people..
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17 words
Good Old Jamie!
The awkward moment when Jamie Oliver's 30-minute meals have taken you over an hour and a half... What did I do wrong?!.
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22 words
Nutella
Eating half a jar of nutella with your fingers, and crying about your life is certainly one way to spend a day.
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22 words
Gag
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst..
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7 words
Noodle Joke
What do you call a fake noodle. An impasta..
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9 words
Doggy Pops
Its funny when my dogs blow off, it always makes them jump. I thought I had just received a text message but realised it wasn't my phones vibrations!. Smells like Chicken.
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31 words
German Sausage
Jokes about German sausages are the wurst..
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7 words
Untitled
It's chilly outside so I'm making chilli..
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7 words
Fake Tan
There is a fine line between tanned and looking like you rolled in Cheese Doritos..
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15 words
Oh God! Change Everything At The Last Minute Then!
My step mum said we were having gammon egg and home made chips for dinner so I calculated at lunch today how much would be 500 cal's and how much exercise I would have to do to burn it off but then...
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86 words
Oh, Pie!
I feel like the plural of Opuss should be Opi. You know, so you could shout: "Wow. Look at my oh-pie!" It sounds like you've been distracted by a certain sweet dessert mid-sentence..
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33 words
The Menu At Alistair's
Starters. Polished gravy granule. Woodman's Flaunt. Hoisin spiky Jew on a crusty bed. Lynch mob choirboy. Special Event salmon. Radox Justice. Main Meals.
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160 words
Favorite Type Of Biscuit?
My personal favorite would be Maryland Cookies ❤ what's your favorites. .
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11 words
British
LMFAO CLARA VERSION: I'm british and I know it !x aha!x.
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11 words
Food
Why is it that you can spend a fortune at the supermarket but when you open the fridge, there's nothing in it you fancy!!!.
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24 words