My Name
Out into the world I was shoved By several strangers all gloved Mum took one look Closed the naming book And said 'David you are beloved'.
Thousands of free stories. Support your favorites when you're ready.
Showing stories tagged with #limerick Clear filter
Out into the world I was shoved By several strangers all gloved Mum took one look Closed the naming book And said 'David you are beloved'.
There's a sexy lady who is Russian. Men whistled, she tried to hush' em. She pulled down their smalls. She stomped on their balls. She damn near tried to crush 'em!.
Camel and llama, Both met in a sauna, To discuss the wonders of flight, They fell asleep talking long into the night, While feigning Polish melodrama..
A star that once shimmered, disappearing from sight Could etch no such memory, nor burn so bright That it would seem as indestructible as you did.
Being alone does suck I guess I am out of luck Feeling frisky It's a little risky But all I need is a fuck.
There once was a frog named Bob, Who ate lots of corn on the cob, He got really fat, Then fell flat, And was trampled by an angry mob, (I feel sorry for Bob!. He was a lovely frog.
@MissLittleDHP Ah... Kim you may well be forty. But you're still so sexy and naughty. Winking at us in DHP Style. You deserve to be happy & smile.
#household - peg(s) Peg leg Pete Has wooden stumps for feet. It might sound bizarre, But when he goes aaargh It means he's reading a tweet..
Today im going to a woolen mill. Trust me against my own will. But its because of my mum. That i've got to come. I hope the car journey wont make me ill....
There once was a fly on the wall, I wonder why didn't it fall, Because its feet stuck, Or was it just luck, Or does gravity miss things so small?.
Im feeling really bored at work. The silence is driving me biserk. So I come up with awful limericks. Hoping the clock quickly ticks. Posting them on Opuss with a smirk....
On Opuss nothing's made a peep. It seems every one is asleep. This just isnt right. Sleeping is for the night. Can't you lot hear the alarm clock beep?!.
The weekend is finally here!. It's time for some good friends and cheer. The sun is about, The bbq's out. And now for some wine and some beer. Hic!.
@Mort Happy birthday you old timer. Well done on being a brill rhymer. You've done really well. We can really tell. Now go get your' birthday vagina!.
I often marvel at its awesome power Feeding everything from man to flower Water is king But here's the thing I much prefer a golden shower #household.
Been away from opuss for a bit fighting the constant war with laziness and apathy. Any way while browsing the feed catching up on some stuff noticed #household going on.
There once was a lady named Honey. Who everyone thought was funny. She went to lunch With a rather friendly bunch. But that all ended when she found out she had no money!.
There was a man getting ideas. This was a womans fears. They didnt get along. She told him he was wrong. So he went back to sipping beers!.
I'm so glad, I don't live in a tank I once ate a guy named Hank I bit off his head He's definitely dead And what I didn't eat sank I swam from Australia to Cuba I ate a guy doing scuba with his...
There once was a king called Lee. Who loved to drink a lot of tea. He made a new law. There would be tea galore. Because he made it all free. There was a gorrila named Glen.
I fall into a life like dream, So calm and peaceful. The beauty in the sky is seen, There's lots of trees and people. And I can sit or do what I please, There's no rules to a dreamer.
Can you make it sound romantic when it's dead. Can you make it sound fantastic in your head.
#household - teabag There once was a teabag emporium, Run by a Mr Delorian. One day he went crazy, Set fire to Miss Daisy... Here's to a crazy memoriam. ©brownowl2012.
#teabag @leelee101 Don't usually join in, but thought I'd give it a bash...