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History would tell you that the Norman Conquest was an event or a number of them that took place in the year 1066 in England, which by coincidence was the same year as the Battle of Hastings.
Prolog This story being written is a dark comedy, a diary leading up to my stay with my sisters, some things might have happened, some things might be completely made up...
Oh what a busy day it was today The wicked hath no rest Went to work in my makeshift pyjamas I wish I could of stayed in bed But we had a very special visitor That made the kiddies go wild A big...
Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I don't know who wrote this, or where it came from. It was handed to me at work, I found it funny and thought I'd share. Enjoy...
I'm a shit bus driver, I tend to get lost everyday. I'll overcharge you if you get on, then I'll ask you the way. I drink while I'm working and I'm always smoking drugs.
Oh my god, I've been so ill I've had to take a ton of pills Laying In bed feeling so bad It's the worst flu I've ever had Throbbing pain inside my head My legs ache and feel like lead My insides...
FRIENDS-save the last slice of Pizza for you. BEST FRIENDS-eat the last slice in your face and laugh at you. FRIENDS-ring the doorbell before entering your home.
Short story about two thieves and security x) enjoy :3 *~*~*~*~* "D-D-D-D-D-D-" "WHAT?!??" I yelled, stopping Kai from saying 'D'. He places his finger over his lips, "Shh.
The last thing you need when you're ill Is relief in a Bob shaped pill I don't hate his guts But he's driving me nuts If only he'd keep his tongue still He talks about nothing but fishing And work.
I'm building a spaceship in my garden, I want to blast off to the stars. I'll do a couple of laps of the Earth first, before I fly to Mars. I'm using scrap material and I've cut myself some wood.
Here we go One day 3 penguins were at the top of a hill. The first penguin said how about we have a competition.
#colour. (Try and say really fast). Here's a story about Mr Brown. A juggling, fire eating, circus clown. But his boss was riled. Because he never smiled. So they called the clown Mr Frown.
#opussweeklychallenge Fashion Crime. Alert, alert. DCI Spanx is investigating. I, Maryam, am an important member. The culprit was spotted in the princess's wedding ballroom.
#Opussweeklychallenge Officer: DCI Spanx and Sergeant Spandex Report no: 12309 Date: 12/11/2012 Time: 21.22 hours Suspect: Nicky Knickers Crime: Committing an offensive act against...
#opussweeklychallenge Morning all. DCI Spanx here, and I'm afraid I have another case of severe FFP (fashion faux pas) to report.
#opussweeklychallenge Crime: Indecent clothing Culprit: Tomas Robiecz Date: 10th Nov 2012 Time: 21:16 Attending Officer: DCI Spanx, WPC F.O.Parr Location: The Duck and Hen After receiving several...
A lady and a lion were kissing each other inside a cage in the circus ring.
Sally and Hallie were a pair with a problem. So bad it was, people tried to dodge them. Sally had a bad case of the dribbles. Now we are talking ALOT, not just a little.
The second of many. Antigravity Theories: Cats always land on their feet. Toast always lands butter side down. Method: attach some toast, butter-side up, to the back of a cat.
A Parodic Minecraft Adventure Part 1: Introduced to a Creeper It was daytime in the world of blocks as me and my mentor, Tom, strolled happily through a forest of green hills and rushing rivers.
Gather round fatties, gather round. Sit back in comfort and let your minds drift. Tonight I shall regale you with the deeds of Jimmothy.
Any other suggestions.
Are you frustrated at everyday life. Bored with your job. Fed up with your boss. Need to sound off without any comeback. Ronco proudly presents... BOB-O-MATIC.