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Showing stories tagged with #humor Clear filter

eddie12309
eddie12309

A Cold Sonnet

Shall I compare you to a razor blade Every time I swallow my poor throat Thou art a tempest I wish would bloody fade Still I shall rest but a bit longer and gloat You have appeared at a most...

28 9 123 words
gazplend
gazplend

Early Morning

House is silent,everybody asleep Love these times,mine to keep Time alone to gather my thoughts No questions asked and no reports Do what i like,watch what i want Write a poem,choose a new font...

60 17 80 words
eddie12309
eddie12309

Manic Monday? Not Really

It's ten to eight in the morning This busy working Monday The kids are still fast asleep in bed Why can't they do this on a Sunday.

28 5 130 words
TheCodsPollocks
TheCodsPollocks

That's A Fanny Piece Of Jewellery !

I was looking in a jeweller's shop window yesterday hoping to get some idea on what to get ' She Who Must Be Obeyed ' for Christmas when I had to look twice at a certain piece.

24 6 113 words
sammielee46
sammielee46

Swearing!

CONTAINS THE OCCASIONAL SWEAR WORD!.

12 3 217 words
sammielee46
sammielee46

Bearded Dragon

My bearded dragons like a prehistoric creature, His big flaring beard is his best feature, Not to mention his spiking spines, Running down his sides in neat little lines, His sandy colour with orange...

14 2 92 words
sjw
sjw

Just The Two Of Us...

My little princess seems to be wearing devil horns and sore cheeks She's had us under her reign of terror for well over a week...

42 11 99 words
leelee101
leelee101

LeeTime™

It's a funny kind of day with the missus not around A birthday treat from work and she's gone to paint the town Not that I'm complaining for everybody needs some space But it will be strange for...

42 24 357 words
AWriterGirl
AWriterGirl

The Cyborg Penguin

So I was at quiz bowl, with a few other people. There was my brother Hubter, Maya, Chrisy, Alyssa(#2- we usually call myself AC. Yeah I'm an air conditioner. Be jealous.) and Kelly.

2 3 114 words
Stylistic101
Stylistic101

Children

Never misjudge a child. Here are some examples: (Child spills coffee on tge table) A NEGATIVE PROJECTION: Ha. This will teach them never to leave their coffee around.

28 3 121 words
carolsgregory
carolsgregory

Man Flu

Oh my god, I've been so ill I've had to take a ton of pills Laying In bed feeling so bad It's the worst flu I've ever had Throbbing pain inside my head My legs ache and feel like lead My insides...

12 9 209 words
tattyteddy
tattyteddy

friends

FRIENDS-save the last slice of Pizza for you. BEST FRIENDS-eat the last slice in your face and laugh at you. FRIENDS-ring the doorbell before entering your home.

54 12 70 words
Emily_InspiresAll
Emily_InspiresAll

My Frustrations Of The World...

I get annoyed at simple things I get frustrated at what life brings Like having to go to bed at night Especially in summer when it's so light.

32 16 275 words
tattyteddy
tattyteddy

Untitled

Science question: How do we grow, explain your answer with as much science as possible.

22 0 295 words
smellyfingers
smellyfingers

Old Git (Bum Tit)

For @Weirdwolf ;-) Welcome back you old fart hehe Everybody wanted to know where the wolf had gone Speculation was rife in Opussia but most where wrong The truth be known and truth be told in this...

30 9 271 words
sjw
sjw

My First.........

#colour Woke up feeling cheery Now I'm positively teary What has caused my frown It was Lee with his colour 'Brown' Totally uninspired My brain has become unwired Invaded by visions of...

34 21 132 words
Tiia
Tiia

An angling widow

He's off on another fishing trip, and dressed up to the nines, with bib and brace and wader boots, and rods and reels and lines.

14 0 168 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Waterloo

@redfae There once was a redhead (that's you), Who was feeling quite terribly blue, For the prospect of cleaning, Sent poor Ally of screaming, Away in her pjs to Waterloo.

42 7 64 words
Stylistic101
Stylistic101

Chocolate Forever

Chocolate has been my favorite thing ever since I could walk. To celebrate the upcoming Chocolate Appreciation Day, I would like to say something: I LOVE YOU CHOCOLATE. NEVER LET ME DOWN!!.

46 14 66 words
nikujagagirl
nikujagagirl

Random moment from my life #16

Person: So, do you like any sports.

20 1 13 words
the_rop
the_rop

The Lone Woman

I felt slightly uncomfortable in the company of all these men. That was strange as it never normally bothered me but this was different. I felt like I didn't belong and they knew that.

6 4 177 words
Stylistic101
Stylistic101

Witch Goes Shopping

Witch goes shopping Upon her broom Finds a place to park it. Takes a shiny Shopping cart Into the supermarket.

22 10 91 words
gazplend
gazplend

Man Gossip

One hour in the barbers and I'm up on the news. Hearing all the gossip and several men's views Women's gossip has nothing on our nosey art The barmaid at the firs wears no bra for a start.

46 16 107 words
leelee101
leelee101

catsclawsquiltsandpaws

Ever tried to make the bed around a stubborn cat.

48 19 130 words
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