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There's three people in jail; a mental freak, a pervert, and a homosexual. The mental freak says, "If there's a cat here, I'm gonna fuck it!" The pervert grins, and says, "Oh yeah.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand..
*Dude talking to girl* What's the difference between peanut butter and jam??. I can't peanut butter my dick up your butt!!.
There once was a man with a penis shaped as a rocket. As any man would be, he was concerned and decided to confide in his doctor. After explaining the situation the doctor had a look...
If you don't know what it says at the end of a condom. You've obviously not rolled it back far enough!.
Me and my female friend; Me: *looking at megan fox pics* Her: shes f*cking hot Me: what are you a lesbo. Her: I'm bisexual Me: go ahead, prove it. Her: umm... Me: yea, that's what I thought..
Apple announced today the launch of a chip to be implanted into women's breasts and play music.
People keep saying that the right man will find me Mine must have gotten bad directions from mapquest!.
Every where he goes... Bitches always know!... Mr fingers has a weenie that he loves to show!.
I dont know why today but guys your poems are full of shit.....
Hi everyone!.
A blind man walked past a fish market. He said "Hello ladies"..
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter.
Why do women have legs. Have you seen the mess a snail makes!.
A boy was strolling merrily whilst whistling to himself. His friend, puzzled, walked up to him and asked why he was so happy. The boy said proudly "I grew a few inches in the night!"...
Once, I wanked myself into Oblivion. The staff at Alton Towers weren't very pleased!.
4. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do.
A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter...
Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.
Dear Diary: Day 1 Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.
Three people, 2 men and 1 woman, and their dogs are in the Vets waiting room. The first man's dog asked the second man's dog what he's there for. They are putting me down.
Why men are more smart and women are more talkative??. Men have two heads and women have four lips!.
I went with the wife to her old school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken bloke sat alone at a nearby table. Dunno why, the bastard looked like he couldn't tell his arse from his elbow.