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~This may be slightly offensive, but it's not meant in that way!~ There's a bridge opposite this military base that's near my school, and there's a memorial under it for a 17 year old who killed...
|the finale part| Suicide Methods: How are you going to do it. Consider this one carefully.
#2 possibility one: the after life or some shit like that. If Christians are right, you can expect Hell.
Columbine, dear Columbine Your lips are like a red, red wine: Vinegary, make me gag... They give me morning headaches, hag.
There they were. in their passion pool™. All tongues of joy™. Every girl, every tool. But here I sit. In my hot jacuzzi. Making my own pleasure. With my 12" oozy. Feast your eyes. Upon my pleasure.
#1 So you're thinking about committing suicide. That is, I figure you probably are if you're reading this, judging by the e-mail I get every day.
I just brought my lunch but now feel sick. It wasn't my thought - I couldn't help it. Sandwiched between me and a bus. It just walked out and I wasn't in a rush. Bloody stupid rat flying vermin thing.
When I am old and when I am grey Alone in my house, all day I will stay Sweet cakes I will bake with a nice cup of tea I might even sing and have a little dance Around and around I will deftly...
With immediate affect, all new Oppussians will be welcomed to our fair isle as follows. On signup.
#household Bob was a happily married house fly, Who liked to eat fruit and buzz lazily by. He was blessed with 2 beautiful larvae and a wife, Whose constant complaining usually ended in strife.
#bored. There's a werewolf in my garden, it's been trying to get in my door. I've barricaded the windows and I'm cowering on the floor. I've got a twelve bore shotgun, and a massive kitchen knife.
#household There was once a fish called Dory, How she died is an interesting story, It wasn't her fault, It was Mr Salt, Who gave her a death rather gory.
#household I once knew a pirate named Trevor, To rob people's ships was his endeavour, As for his fish tank, He made that walk the plank, And the fish's head he did sever.
Aunt Lilian looked over the ledge, her fate decided. The merry folk of the Acre Nut Old People's Home laughed weezily, danced arthritically, played sport poorly, but at least THEY were happy.
Have you ever played that game While in a traffic queue You know that made up one Wonder what they do.
So a woman is sitting on a bus with her 6 month old child and a man sits down next to her. After a few minutes, the man turns to the woman and says "That is by far the ugliest baby I've ever seen!".
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the...
Just a strange little rhyme that came into my head....
I'm off to visit a friend this weekend, A day and night of quiet bliss.
Susie Lee done fell in love, She planned to marry Joe. She was so happy bout' it all, She told her pappy so. Pappy told her, Susie gal, You'll have to find another.
#bugsleg. Let's go back to my garden again, in the middle there's a well. Where Dave the kinky spider lives with his girlfriend Mel. Mel is a giant fly, that got caught in Dave's sticky web.
If you and I were zombies, I'd let you eat me first. If you were a scary vampire, I'd let you quench your thirst. If I were tied to a train track, I'd let you run me through.
(*Whistled merrily to a bouncy yet somewhat daunting tune*) Divorced, beheaded and died. Divorced, beheaded, survived. King Henry the Eighth was a brutal man, To the wives he sought to marry.
One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma.