Random Quote #118
Oh please, my mom makes those tiger moms look like a bunch of kittens!.
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Oh please, my mom makes those tiger moms look like a bunch of kittens!.
Let down by a friend, like a weak magnet....
(In a debate over watching Saturn 3 or Deep Space 9) Sheldon-I suggest rock paper scissors...lizard Spock. Raj-What. Sheldon-Oh, It's very simple.
Try taking the "the" out of Psychotherapist. *sighs* HUMANS THESE DAYS!!.
The #1 rule for dining out: Never dine out until 9 o'clock, by then you'll be so hungry you'll eat the cheapest thing on the menu..
“Beware of the man who denounces woman writers; his penis is tiny and he cannot spell.” - Erica Jong.
Don't ever speek again. You are essentially an oxygen stealer.
You don't need swag when you have............ IMAGINATION!.
Being moody is the worst. I love it!.
All of the best things in life are free, like all the best apps (Opuss and Instagram), friends, family, and hugs. :).
Admit it: We've all used the toothpaste foam and pretended we had rabies at least once..
The harder you try,the more likely your are to fail!.
Son: but dad I'm scared Dad: I DON'T CAAAAAAAAARRRRE.
Pepper spray and power wash,the New York hug and kiss.
The ground loves me. It catches me whenever I fall..
Whenever you fall, I will always be there. -Floor.
Don't try to be the person people like. People won't like you. They will like the person your pretending to be..
Babe, put some clothes on, put your boobs back in your shirt, take off your make up - there, much better.
Make pasta not war!.
“It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.” Paul Newman.
Just remember that you are special........just like everyone else..
I threw 'A Dell' in the sea, now it's 'Rollin In The Deep!' Yeah I know. Lol.
'imagine life without light' 'yes that would be very dark...' -death note The quote is one of those you-have-to-be-there-to-find-it-funny ones. (by the way, light is a person...).
Me - Crazy. Why thank you!.