Thousands of free stories. Support your favorites when you're ready.
Showing stories tagged with #limerick Clear filter
I have a dog named Polar Bear, So come in my yard if you dare, He'll run up to you For a quick pet or two, And his tail will wag through the air..
I've heard of a cake called Herman Origin unknown, could be German On this, you can bank He's the size of a tank Not a Panzer, but maybe a Sherman And if Herman decides to blow There's nowhere to...
From an ancient Egyptian papyrus A professor translated a virus It was rather terrific For an old Hieroglyphic His computer was cursed by Osiris..
While singing a song in the snow I remembered a time long ago when stories of old were told in the cold and the list'ners would freeze just to know.
There once was a fish Who hadn't a job And so with each dish He ate like a slob..
There was a man who lived in Switzerland Though his parents were from Ireland He travelled around Making a very loud sound And spent his holidays in Thailand ..
There once was a woman from St. Jude, who rode her horse in the nude. She galloped too long, and unless I am wrong. You expected this rhyme to be crude..
Roses can sometimes be Red And Violets are generally Blue For it's not in the Rhyming But all in the Timing That makes a dumb Limerick True.
Put it in a poem, she said I chose a limerick instead A bully you say.
Now if V over P be inverted And the root of P be inserted X times into V The result, QED Is a relative, Einstein asserted..
There was a young maid from Madras Who had a magnificent ass; Not rounded and pink, As you probably think--- It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass..
There was a young lady named Slater Who married an old alligator. The night that they wed They climbed into bed, But rather than mate her, he ate her..
I've been studying all night and I'm tired, But I can't sleep because I'm so wired. So I'll play on the net 'Stead of going to bed, And my tests will seem a quagmire..
It's fairly slow today. Everyone's been washed away. By rain which is pouring. Making Bluesday so boring. Try a limerick like @PoppyA. She's written one for Nic. And hasn't missed a trick.
Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Rocked too much and began to fall. Landed hard on his head. No doubt he's dead. But he made the best omelet of all!.
There once was a young and sexy farmer. He liked to smoke Marijuana. He played two drags, pass. Fell flat on his ass. An now him and his friends are full of laughter!.
It's no fun with a rather large tum. Casting shadows in the light of the sun. My toes in the dark, My knees looking stark, And my genitals seeming quite glum. .
Sylvester found out his wife, Lisa, Had employed a mean underworld geezer To kill him – how bad. But he really got mad When he noticed it charged on his Visa..
There was a black Labrador called Bess Who jumped up on my wife's wedding dress With a pull of her claw She proceeded to draw A picture that's a bit of a mess For Bess, black lab, 1.
“Now, Cubs, don’t those humans look chunky?" Said a grisly bear, hirsute and hunky, "And I bet they taste sweet, But do not touch the meat- It’s genetic’lly modified monkey.”.
Two hookers named Rose and Marie Were drowned in a whirlpool at sea. Now the other girls try To remain safe and dry On the land -- to avoid whirled whore three..
The Darwin debate never ceases, For he wounded the pride of our species When he made you and me Share the family tree With those monkeys that love to fling faeces..
There are three thousand girls in distress In a basement at USPS, Where the postmaster hides All the mail-order brides That were lacking a proper address..
As for sex education, it’s wondered If our school system’s totally blundered, For the textbooks these days Just teach two or three ways-- And Norwegians learn more than five hundred..