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Showing stories tagged with #absurd-humor Clear filter
5- Pretend to be a monkey and run around on all fours, stealing people wallets and stuff. 4- Walk up to a stranger and start singing "the man who can't be moved" at a street corner.
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a bra that was meant to hold three, On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me two football shirts and a bra that was meant to...
Pets are the hobby of my brother Bert He used to go to school with a mouse in his shirt And his hobby grew as some hobbies will And it grew and grew and grew until- Oh, don't breathe a word,...
Find a partner and have a carrot duel. Insert one into your left nostril and then do star jumps. If the carrot does not fall out of your face by the time you have reached 47 jumps, you win.
Bibitty bobitty boo, We're going to the zoo, We're going to see the animals, That want to make friends with you.
The King has returned to claim his seat. The Opussia folk sing and dance on their feet. The King is back upon his throne. The king is back where he rightfully belongs.
There once was a king called Lee. Who loved to drink a lot of tea. He made a new law. There would be tea galore. Because he made it all free. There was a gorrila named Glen.
When you get scale ratios the wrong way round...
A continuation of @gazplend's Hairy Mary and bearded flip flop man, in other words just a bit of silliness.
I have the teeniest weeniest dog with a very troublesome problem, it likes to croak as if its a frog but mostly just roar's like a lion.
Once upon a time, there was a little boy called Timmy (aka Little Tim Tim.) Little Tim Tim was asked by his teacher Mr Swift "Do you know the first 4 letters of the alphabet?" "Nope (herp derp face...
----------- When someone tells you to, "expect the unexpected", slap them in the face and ask them if they expected it ----------- Make elaborate Hogwarts rejection letters.
DOG: you bought dog shampoo. Yes DOG: what for. Because you smell like a gorilla's dick. DOG: THAT'S MY SMELL What are you doing in the bathroom.
1. There was an explosion on my street and I had to help the police with casualties. 2.