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Showing stories tagged with #absurdist-poetry Clear filter

jackalice
jackalice

A Whimsical Legend Of Bread

Jam Strawberry Lightening, Tucked his sword named Frightening Under his shoulder and said; 'By the light of Breakfast Moon I pledge allegiance to you, And to your service, bow my head' I, Marmalade...

18 4 119 words
Klaire
Klaire

The Last Pirate

Instead of a hook, This pirate has a coat hanger hand, And he is the most feared, Pirate in all the land. Why.

34 10 161 words
curiouscraig
curiouscraig

Turquoise Porpoise

#turquoise #colourchallenge The turquoise porpoise Is quite a thing to behold. Watch out for it in your fridge, Or indeed anywhere cold.

30 9 161 words
merlin1038
merlin1038

I Can't Stand The Rain (outside My Window)

It's drizzling outside Quite mesmerising really, Or it would be if it wasn't so bloody well sad.

30 7 174 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Try Not To Laminate The Children

For @Irrational_Kimmi Do not laminate the children, Do not cover them in glue, Do not feed them coloured pencils, These are things you must not do.

54 12 126 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Opuss

(Vegetarian, just for @naaviie). Half a cup of lemon juice,. And half a block of cheese,. With half a bottle of hot sauce,. And extra sugar please,. Two tablespoons of dragon's blood,.

34 14 107 words
TheCodsPollocks
TheCodsPollocks

Dream A Little Dream.

Have you ever had one of those dreams that make no sense whatsoever . I had one last night about a bloke who was an automobile sprayer whose girlfriend turned into a giant spoon .

20 6 82 words
Delilah
Delilah

Closing Note| Cheese Battle

#cheesebattle We're all a bit dishevelled After courting with the Devil; A war over cheese Where Lee lost his knees, We all deserve a medal.

16 11 167 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Too Quiet|CheeseBattle

#cheesebattle This Battle of the cheeses, Has turned into a ghost, A quiet, lurking shadow, A lesser of the most, I'm hiding in the cheese lair, A'thinking up a plan, With my sidekick who has...

16 16 62 words
leelee101
leelee101

Legs | Cheese Battle

#cheesebattle Ok folks, I've got new legs I walk like I've been laying eggs But not to worry, there's no fuss 'Cos one of them's a blunderbuss And it'll shoot out pies and cheese Brings super...

12 13 130 words
naaviie
naaviie

Knickerless | Cheese Battle

Blithering BedHair Lee, Now without his knees, Back for more, From hero ladies adored, Stealing elastic from their pants, Why you - you sneaky little ant.

22 10 79 words
Delilah
Delilah

Hit The Road Jack| Cheese Battle

#cheesebattle I think it's time to call it a day Lee's well up the heavenly stairway Or is he on the highway to hell. It's all so confusing I really can't tell.

20 15 73 words
naaviie
naaviie

Fool! | Cheese Battle

Hair bombs. Ha. Think I don't know how to deal With a simple hair ball meal. My vetty powers seek out those devils, You can't win on any of your levels.

20 13 85 words
Delilah
Delilah

So You Think You've Won| Cheese Battle

#cheesebattle You think you've trumped us But it's far from that; BedHairLee is calling time And we've made a hat from your cat.

10 8 117 words
naaviie
naaviie

War Gong | Cheese Battle

While you've been speaking victory unawares, I made Daisy-cow into a chair, She goes nicely with that cat-hat, I really hope you thank me for that, Our chickens are now 1000 strong, Waiting...

14 8 156 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

The Last Straw|CheeseBattle

#cheesebattle You wicked vet, Have you no heart.

20 6 93 words
leelee101
leelee101

Wings | Cheese Battle

#cheesebattle I know it's a super car But now you've gone too far. So I've brought arrows and slings To damage your clip-on wings.

22 6 86 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Let's Do This|CheeseBattle

#cheesebattle. Armed with guns of liquid cheese,. Egyptian Cotton, please, D, please,. I suggest, use Vanish, you,. To lift the scent of BedHead's poo,. Unless you wish to wear them now,.

18 7 63 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Round Three|CheeseBattle

#cheesebattle. Well Delilah,. With your car,. And chicken eggs,. You shant get far,. I have a few tricks up my sleeve,. A super soaker,. Filled with cheese,. Your chickens can't protect you now,.

20 12 63 words
gazplend
gazplend

Weird Dreams

My dreams are getting very weird I dreamed my sister had a big bushy beard. I once dreamed I was sailing in a boat Made of cauliflower that would not float.

12 0 89 words
PurdyGurl
PurdyGurl

Nonsense Poem Of Doom

One day camel went to the store Because camel wanted to buy A brand new front door. When camel got there Why who did camel see. Llama. But llama'd lost all llamar hair.

14 9 152 words
MonteCarlo
MonteCarlo

Swap!

Winnie the Pooh bouncing, And Tigger gobbling honey. A monkey roaring, And a lion eating bananas. An astronaut juggling, And a clown on the moon.

14 2 141 words
sjw
sjw

MisslittleDHP

Her name is @misslittleDHP she likes to write about poo's and pee. Now she's teamed up with @naaviie, and @chy to bring about a revolution, Its the hottest thing Since mans evolution.

36 39 73 words
curiouscraig
curiouscraig

Miss Pronunciation

We all remember that fateful day, When Miss Pronunciation finally got her way. After pushing the monarch to abdication, She took control of our good nation.

44 12 283 words
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