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Showing stories tagged with #bathroom-humor Clear filter
Right, did somebody say a football, to worship and to pray Even if I had one with me, I wouldn't give it the time of day Lowly bowing down, to my porcelain god, I do Is the only thing I have, it...
#fillintheblanks One sunny day Jack decided to have a shit.
Hey, what's that smell. (sniff sniff) what, no, I didn't fart. It's not like I would lie. It's just I didn't have any part. When there's a smell, a rule follows. To lay blame to your friends.
I farted in the bath. Jesus, what a laugh I already had bubbles But now I had double And did it smell. Not 'arf.
Contains swearing xx We have a lovely house hold all civilised and stuff, Try hard to keep it tidy with a hoover and a dust.
Three very different limericks. There was a young man full of sorrow. Who was scared that he might wake tomorrow. So he cooked up a potion. To end this emotion.
I think I'm in love With a guy called Jeff For like my little self With farts he's truly blessed I met him in a club Called Club Trumpocana Our duetting farts Caused a dance floor drama That's when...
I though I'd make a little rhyme About the (for me) most peaceful time The time of the day where I feel relief When I end up feeling light as a leaf This is the time, once or twice a day Where a...
LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP. THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK.
"Go and have a look at the size of the shit I've just done in the bathroom!" I said to my wife. "No thanks," she replied.
#colour. Having been ill for a week. I am ably positioned to speak. I've definitely seen. Some septic green. And other colours, quite unique. What's gone down that bowl.
Today I thought incontinance pants would be a really good idea No longer would I be living in peeing myself fear If they were discrete and tied above the knee I could walk about peeing myself with...
#colour WARNING: Not overly pleasant...
A little boy put his hand up in the classroom and asked "May go to the toilet?" The teacher said "Only if you say the whole alphabet." So he did, but he missed out P.
A true story... Cannot quite take in the sight That greeted me today The cat was banshee howling Out you go I say.
#household. Here is the tale of Bart Cootie. Whose arse was incredibly fruity. After eating a pear. He caught folk unaware. He'd laugh and say 'That was a beauty!'. One day a tomato went down.
#household My curry last night was yummy In fact it was totally scrummy But I had too much Biriyani and such And now I've a rumbly tummy The noise coming from my pants Is like a herd of...
(Written by my bro Amir) #Funny I was looking forward to some time in the loo, Ten minutes alone to produce number two.
Old Saint Nic was a grumpy old git. He was constipated and couldn't handle it. Mrs Nic got bored of his pleas and cries. As Old Saint Nic nearly burst a blood vessel in his eyes.
For@Irrational_Kimmi and @MelchiorJ13 Jack and Kim sat on a swing, Giggling over strawberries and lemons. Said Kim to jack "can you sing?" he replied "no, but I do like a nice pair of melons.
There's someone in the bathroom. And you only need to pee, brush your teeth and dash again. Somewhere you have to be... They're really taking ages, you think you're going to pop.
Morning has broke. So has my ass. I never thought I'd. Be so full of gas. Geez this stuff stinks. With that there's no doubt. Don't take a whiff. You might just pass out. You have been warned.
I'm feeling a bit of butt tension. Need to blast out this inner frustration. I'm not talking of loose STOOLS here. I won't make this poem messy don't fear.
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