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Showing stories tagged with #bodily-functions Clear filter
Right, did somebody say a football, to worship and to pray Even if I had one with me, I wouldn't give it the time of day Lowly bowing down, to my porcelain god, I do Is the only thing I have, it...
#acrostic #smellyalmostnineyearold P tactically every day I pick my nose C ant hide it from mummy as she always K nows. I try to do it, behind my hand N asal congestion, is like a bogey rubber band.
I though I'd make a little rhyme About the (for me) most peaceful time The time of the day where I feel relief When I end up feeling light as a leaf This is the time, once or twice a day Where a...
#colour WARNING: Not overly pleasant...
#household My curry last night was yummy In fact it was totally scrummy But I had too much Biriyani and such And now I've a rumbly tummy The noise coming from my pants Is like a herd of...
(Written by my bro Amir) #Funny I was looking forward to some time in the loo, Ten minutes alone to produce number two.
Morning has broke. So has my ass. I never thought I'd. Be so full of gas. Geez this stuff stinks. With that there's no doubt. Don't take a whiff. You might just pass out. You have been warned.
I have a little problem Of this i'll say to thee I've covered up my japseye Now it's hard to pee If I'm slightly careful I won't wet my pants If I feel it trickling You'll see me start to...
I'm having a moment. I think this is it. I'm writing this poem. While taking a shit. It just seems to me. While I'm sat on the bog. The greatest thoughts ever. Seep through the fog.
I have a hairy bum I'm hairy from my tum. It doesn't cause me trouble, Except when I'm bending over double. You see after a serious turd, I'm not sure you girls have heard.
Some of my finest thoughts are conceived upon the bog. Contemplating life around me as I excrete the morning log. While carrying out the daily ablutions Some major problems find solutions.
WARNING: NOT NICE...
It's raining again, quite heavily, and I've had a beer. I wish the downstairs toilet, was closer, far more near. It's like an army assault course, in the middle of the night.
I have to share this news. About I guy I know. He has a dirty habit. That makes me want to throw. His name is really Frederick. Mr Frederick Whitbread. But when he's blind drunk.
Here i sit. On the toilet at home. This toilet is my toilet. This toilets my throne. I visit the bathroom. About 6 times a day. To stink out the toilet. To keep you away. If you dare enter.
The loo sits there all crisp and clean. Just waiting for a friendly bum to see. It's boring at times just waiting there. But 'oh yes' someone's having a wee. The flush gives the loo a quick bath.
I have a half sister called Danielle, and she has a little 4 year old girl called indie ( the name I used in my story) anyway so My sister just told me this stry of which happened earlier this day.
It stinks of poo when I’m at the park zoo; thank god it’s in a cage; not the heel of my shoe. If evolution worked; they’d be on the loo, behind closed doors for a number two.