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#bored This is Glen's guide to Halloween, it's served me well in the past Make sure you carry plenty of eggs and some fireworks for the blast Always egg people's windows and don't forget to empty...
#bored. I've invented a martial art that's brand new. I've decided to call it 'No Kan Du'. I can do helicopter kicks. Catch flies with chopsticks. I can do all this far better than you.
#bored #slightlypissed I'm a pretend psychic, I'd pretend to read your palm I'd tell you what you want to hear its wrong but wheres the harm I pretend to see the spirits and pretend to see the...
#bored. I've been living amongst you earthlings, since I landed here last year. I've managed to fit right in since I discovered this thing called beer.
#bored. I'm the best at air guitar, Ive managed to learn every chord. I often get it out, when I'm feeling quite bored. I can play any song and my guitar don't make a sound.
#bored. I'm an OCD burglar, I'd break in and clean your house. But I won't leave nothing out of place and I'm as quiet as a mouse. I never seem to steel anything, I just put your CDs in order.
#bored. I saved a family from a car on flames, even thou it was blazing. When asked why I did it I simply said 'I'm part man, part amazing'.
#bored. I'm a wizard for hire, a kind of higher power. I'd help you out, but I charge by the hour. I've got no morals as long as you got the cash. I'll sort your troubles out with a zap and a flash.
#bored. I'm a rapscallion, I'm a nasty piece of work. I spend all my time running round chasing skirt. I chat up all the women, especially if their fine.
#bored. So I once went out on this date. With this girl and one of her mate's. I was on to a winner. But first we had dinner. This night was going to be great. Now Ann and Pam were there names.
#bored I've taught my dog a glorious trick, I've trained him to drive my car He drives me to the pub and back, he's the cleverest dog by far He picks me up and drives me home, right back to my...
#bored. I'm a werewolf hunter, I'm actually one of a kind. You see werewolf's don't exist so its a bit like the blind leading the blind. I go out on a full moon with my silver knife and sack.
#bored. I'm a ghost hunter, but I've never caught a ghost. When they disappear that's what pisses me off the most. I just want some credit, I get laughed at in the street.
#bored Lets talk about the doctor, this strange man from space He's always fighting Daleks and Cyber Men face to face But I think he's really lame, he looks like an absolute tit With his quiffy hair...
#bored You don't here much about me, but I tell you I'm just as good I've got all the same powers, but I'm misunderstood I prefer to go shopping rather than fighting crime Or doing the hovering,...
#bored. I finished my job early so drove home to surprise the wife. I've been neglecting her a bit lately, I haven't been that nice. I thought I'd get some flowers and take her out for drinks.
#bored. There's a werewolf in my garden, it's been trying to get in my door. I've barricaded the windows and I'm cowering on the floor. I've got a twelve bore shotgun, and a massive kitchen knife.
Boredom. Is what I fear most. Hated by so many, I hate it most. Nobody to text, iPod shuts itself down, Wii ran out of batteries, Too lazy to read, Too lazy to do anything.