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Joke from a book on Jon something or other's writing inspiration A man with no arms wanted to ring the church bells. "You can't ring a bell. You have no arms!" The priest exclaimed.
A priest was on his way to church when his car ran out of gas. He was in the middle of nowhere with no gas station around. His phone wouldn't get any reception.
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Had a fantastic night,. Seeing Jimmy Carr,. Lots of laughs occurred,. From the stage I wasn't far,. Four rows back I was worried,. That I may be picked upon,. But the hecklers stopped that,.
#acrostic. (True story). Ready I was to write a piece, to compliment this place. Instead I'm gonna moan a little, about what happened there today. Let me have a j2o and some cheesy chips I asked.
Going out tonight,. I'm going to see a show,. Lets hope it's full of laughter,. And lets hope it doesn't blow,. A stand up comedian,. Is coming to town,. Laughter is the best medicine,.
#acrostic Something doesn't seem quite right, but it might just be me, Anybody else realize it, don't you see.
Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.
#cheerupopuss. I've decided to become a pilot, it looks like so much fun. I want to be like Maverick or the Iceman from Top Gun. I've been training in my garden, I use my arms as wings.
Bugger Off I said BUGGER OFF You're still here. You're very persistent aren't you. Fine.. You can stay... My name is Eva by the way. I'm very powerful.
( #sundayrepost - Because I love factual based history.
#sundayrepost 8 new lines Oh no.
A man was walkingdown the road.All of sudden he spotted a house,with man and his horse in front.
I has the man-flu blues. I'm a snot producing machine I have strategically placed sneezing targets in my van If the body is 90% water I should be in drought But oh no, I got Niagara Falls gushing out.
Me: I don't know you, but I love you and we are gonna get married. Best friend: *Gets on one knee* I love you so so so much, marry me. Me: YESSSS.
#Truestory haha check profile picture. I've never had any plants, I really don't see the point. But for 99p at homebase, I probably shouldn't go there after a joint.
The lonely piazza One day their was two pieces of piazza in a box one salami, one plain. The. Plain one said " I'm just a plain piece of pizza and your so lucky your a salami piazza.
Clandestine potatoes operated outside of the jurisdiction of F.A.R.M. They didn't play by the rules, they made the rules and then they ignored them. The potato unit were hardcore.
A guy walks into a bar looking frustrated. The bartender asks, "What's the matter?" The guy replies, "Well I've got these two horses and I can't tell them apart.
#TalesFromSchool I really like your idea @BethyBoo and for some reason i have school on the brain today... Could it be the sheer amount of revision. or the lovely acrostics attacking my inbox.
It's not just my ego. I see everyone loves me. They all leave the room. Not deserving to be. In my great presence. With awesomeness much. The really must love me. They bring special lunch.
'Please, please, please mum'. 'No, you're to young to go to the disco'. 'But everyone in my class is going. 'I don't care about anyone else I care about you'.
By Gemma Doyle You never can tell if parents notice or are listening Kid: I'm going to become a terrorist and blow up stuff. Parents: mmmhmm Kid: When I grow up I'll cause pain to all.
Following some recent research I thought some of you writers might appreciate a brief interlude especially you guys who write about lost love, pain and depression.