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Showing stories tagged with #comedy-poem Clear filter
OK, before anyone reads this I'd just like to say that I think a sense of humour is the most important thing in the world and I'm sure you ALL agree, yeah.
I farted in the bath. Jesus, what a laugh I already had bubbles But now I had double And did it smell. Not 'arf.
Would it be so bad, To see my dad, Happily clad, In a onesie - Erm maybe a tad. My mum would think he was high, My brother cry, And I would undoubtedly die.
I'm getting ready for the end of the world, I know it's coming soon. I've got a shelter in my garden to protect me from this doom. I've got water and baked beans, enough to last for years.
I'm the real 007 not that wimpy James Bond. I've got loads of fancy gadgets and I'm partial to a blond. Yeah I've seen the film and I found it quite absurd.
#sequel I've taught my dog another glorious trick, he now cleans and tidy's my room He licks the sides nice and clean and he can also use a broom He's handy with a hoover and he knows how to make my...
#bored. I'm an OCD burglar, I'd break in and clean your house. But I won't leave nothing out of place and I'm as quiet as a mouse. I never seem to steel anything, I just put your CDs in order.
#bored You don't here much about me, but I tell you I'm just as good I've got all the same powers, but I'm misunderstood I prefer to go shopping rather than fighting crime Or doing the hovering,...
I'm off to the zoo So I won't be around But a piece of disturbing News I have found The zoo's in North Essex And having said that So's a loose lion An escapee big cat.
The teacher passed out and fell right off her chair. My classmates are crying and gasping for air. The hamster is howling and hiding his head. The plants by the window are practically dead.
I'm the real incredible hulk not that David Banner. I get the hump so quickly and I've also got a stammer. The slightest thing gets me angry even being low on cash.
#household (best read with scouse accent) Calm down calm down Said Terry to Trev Do ya wanna go clubbin' With Sharon and Bev.
Our teacher sings The Beatles. She must know every song. We ask her please to stop but she just sings, "It Won't Be Long." And then she croons like Elvis. She clearly thinks it's cool.
#cheesebattle. Daring D,. You Irish fiend,. You stole my Nan,. Or so it seemed,. You see, my Nan's from Germany,. So Guten Nachte,. To Daring D,. She laced your sheets,. With Parmesan,.
One's from Northern Ireland. The other one's a vet. And if you suspect fowl play. They are your best bet. You'll find 'em in the D-Den. Just like Caped Crusaders. Clearing up the chicken shit.
I wanted to be a ballet dancer so many years ago Leaping around with grace, well I thought so.
My best friend just rang and gave me some news At first he wouldn't say so I asked him for clues 'well you know that girl with the stubble I am seeing' 'I saw her in the toilet,standing up peeing!' I...
I do not want to go to bed. I like to stay up late. I'm bouncing off the bedroom walls and, frankly, feeling great. I'm dancing like a maniac instead of counting sheep.
I started on my homework but my pen ran out of ink. My hamster ate my homework. My computer's on the blink. I accidentally dropped it in the soup my mom was cooking.
Was feeling brave so I went for a look Back to the woods where the beast first struck 'Come on gaz,your a man not a mouse' The beast didn't follow me Back to my house No worries,no problems and...
Hey I'm Sooperdooperman. And I fly without wings. I've got x-ray vision. Among many other things. My sooperdooper powers. Set me apart from the rest. The ability to fly. Is what I like the best.
My hamster has a skateboard. When he rides it, though, he falls. He takes off like a maniac and crashes into walls. He screams, "Geronimo!" and then goes crashing down the stairs.
Big John was a small short man. But if you upset him he became desperate dan. Size of a child with the heart of a lion. Once beat up an ice cream man for scratching his ford Orion.
I want to have your babies Your hair, my looks, And that wit, they'd be so perfect. I can't get over it. Let me be your nation You don't need any others.