Where Are We?
'Where are we?' You don't know where we are. 'Nooooo, just help me out here.' Well hmm, do you remember the drive over here.
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When Glen Met God
My funeral was a dull affair, they put my ashes in a cup No one was more surprised than me, that instead of going down I went up I treated life without a care, I died like Elvis on the bog So here I...
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Convo #9
Me: What are we. Best friend: I'm a guy and you're a girl.. I think. Me: I'm still a girl.. For now. Best friend: Please don't become a guy.. Then I will have to become gay.
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Convo #4
Best friend: But you're not happy.. Me: I'm never happy. I have terrible depression. When I'm not depressed, I'm angry. I also have terrible anger issues.
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The Morning PSY Comes :P
Son: Mum i told You to cook pancakes for today's breakfast!. Mum: Lalalala what again. Mum I told you to cook onion ok Son: I'm not joking mum Mum: I'm not joking to son :P Son: .....
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100 words
What's So Cosmic About Latte?
#colourchallenge So I go into the DIY shop and say: "I'd like a tin of Cosmic Latte" "A tin of what?" they say And I repeat "Cos...mic Latt...ay" "I'm not sure we have that in stock madam" They...
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137 words
Untitled
* Ex EX BOYFRIEND) I have a song for you, I want u back by Cher Loyd EX GIRLFRIEND) Oh yeah.
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Wild Conversation
I have the necessary koalaifocations says the koala bear. Your koalaifocations are completely irrelephant says the elephant. Don't listen him, he's lion, says the lion.
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Peace
What is peace.
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309 words
WHY?
Q: why do we have to go to sixth form. A: because we can get a good education and earn money later on in life. Q:why do we have to be forced out of bed.
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168 words
How To Play Musical Instruments
A thick kid asks the thicker kid some questions. Thick: How do u play the drum. Thicker: Bang bang wallop Thick: Violin. Thicker: Screech Thick: Cow. Thicker: Make them talk - Moo.
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Accountancy
You know, if you were to ask me what 2 + 2 was, I would say 4. So would you. But I used to know this accountant fellah, and he asked me the same question. I said "4".
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88 words
leafsnail
Oh look, there's the treesnail Sitting on a leaf Too hot upon the tree trunk So he's crawled off underneath It must be really awful To roast inside your shell L'escargot en flambé Must be a living...
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05/08/12 Opuss Challenge 9
Good Monday Morning Opussians!. I'm expecting A High number of calls today so please hold the line and an operator will be with you shortly...
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109 words
A Joke :)
You: I hate my life Friend: Why. You: I'm 22, work in fast food, and will probably never do anything better Friend: Don't say that.
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But... Muuum D:
Can you go tidy your toys in your room for me please. But mum... Why. So I can actually walk and hoover in your room with ease. Will you eat the whole of your dinner, there's a good girl. But mum...
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109 words
Over The Top Promotion
Person 1:...
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Something Worth Saying
Taken from a real conversation lol: Her: You make all men look inferior. Him: We're all the same. Most of us are just hidden behind a brick wall of hurt.
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The Dalek Diaries: 8
Dalek Tiff Dalek 1: YOU ARE SO FULL OF EXCREMENT THAT YOU HAVE A HANDLE FOR FLUSHING LIKE THE HUMAN CUBICLES KNOWN AS 'PORTALOO' Dalek 2: WELL YOUR MOTHER IS SO TRASHY THAT SHE HAS A PEDAL AT THE...
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The Dalek Diaries:2
Fashion Facist Dalek 1: LET US ATTEND THE EARTH RITUAL KNOWN AS 'GETTING PISSED." WE CAN EXTERMINATE SOME NICE EARTH BOYS.
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Convo With Crazy
Hey. Are you better now. Yep. I'm fine You know me I'm always fine Seeing how easily you get depressed, I would advise you to see a doctor, and get some help.
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281 words
Flapdoodling
Sorry, this is all I've got, it's been a long day:) "That's a poodle" "flapdoodle!" "It's got curly hair" "I don't care" "I know dogs, I've taken classes" "That's not a poodle you need...
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Texts From My Dog 66
DOG: buy me a drum kit No. DOG: buy me a drum kit NO DOG: if I played the drums, we could be RICH Dogs do not play drums DOG: that's what you said about texting. Look how that turned out YES.
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Texts From My Dog 64
DOG: tip top day. Made a new enemy Stop. Making. Enemies. DOG: he drives around in a van playing music to LURE KIDS INTO HIS WEB OF EVIL He sells ICE CREAM. DOG: YEAH.
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