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Showing stories tagged with #drunk-humor Clear filter
Here I am. Drunk once again. How did this happen. I don't know when. I've drank so much tequila. I'm laid on the floor. Am I really this drunk. I best drink some more. Getting back up.
This is why I didn't show up for work yesterday. I was cleaning out my wife's grandpa's cellar and found 12 bottles of his home-bottled grape wine under the steps.
It was early in the morning, just before the day was dawning, that a drunken man came yawning, yawning to my home front door.
I wasn't THAT drunk. Dude, you were in my fireplace yelling 'Diagon Ally!' I wasn't THAT drunk. Dude, you were in my pool trying to find 'Nemo!' I wasn't THAT drunk.
A man walks into a bar and asks for a coke because he's driving tonight, The bar tender points to a guy slumped over a table and replies I'll give it you for free if you'll take him home.
Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.